Stage 23 – Always persevere!

Welcome to My dating year!

First of all before I begin the topic for this post I just want to shout HOORAY, I finally passed my driving test. It took a lot of attempts and changes in my life, as well as, emotional pain to get there but I did it. I now own a full UK manual driving license. Well done me for not giving up.

I initially wanted to write about something else for this post but changed my mind because I’d like to stay on the topic of perseverance and not losing hope. Those of you who read my blog religiously will know that I wanted to give up on this challenge at one point too. I’m glad I didn’t. I still don’t have a boyfriend and don’t date as regularly as I did when I first started the challenge but that’s not because I am disheartened by the fact that I’m still single. It’s simply because I want to get into a relationship and sometimes we have to stop and stand still in order to move forward.

When it comes to the search of a lifelong partner I have to really commend some people for not giving up. I’d really like to think that there’s someone out there for everybody. Just because family and friends give up hope in you it doesn’t mean you should stop looking and hoping to find your soul mate. Paul McCartney is old and has been through a lot of marriages but he hasn’t given up on love. I respect him so much for that. Yes he made some wrong decisions in his choice of partners in the past and may well have made the wrong decision again with his current wife but who doesn’t make mistakes. If we all decide not to give things a chance because of the fear of possibly making the wrong decision what kind of lives would we be living. Those who give into the fear of possibly having another failed relationship and don’t get into committed relationships as a result are committed to having failed relationships and are not good learners. 

When we fail there’s always something to learn from the failure and improve on. In the process of trying to get my licence I learnt that my eyesight wasn’t as good as I thought and the world is a lot clearer than I previously thought. In order to ease the emotional pain I was going through I decided to take up jogging again and I now have better stamina and jog a much longer distance that I was capable of in the past. I also learnt to push through the negative thoughts, disappointment and shame that come with failing so many times. I knew I’d eventually get my license but the amount of times I failed did make me question whether I was capable of passing the test. The point I’m trying to make here is that finding a life partner is not an easy thing but we shouldn’t give up. In the process of looking, spend time on improving yourself, so when it finally does happen you’ll be an asset to your partner. You’ll make him/her realise something about the world or relationships that they didn’t know.

I was on the tube a couple of days ago and I noticed an advert for women who are in their forties and wanting to be mums. I thought how nice. The world has changed and a lot of women are having children later in life now. Just because a lady has passed 35 it doesn’t mean she should give up on childbearing. Yes pregnancy may be more difficult after a certain age but it shouldn’t mean that women should give up hope of becoming mums after 35. Mount Kilimanjaro is a very difficult mountain to climb but that doesn’t stop people from climbing it. It’s all in the mind. If you believe you can, you will. It doesn’t matter how long or how many attempts, it’s whether you do it or not that matters. So if it means having to kiss a lot of frogs to find your Prince Charming so be it, all of that wouldn’t matter in the end. You may have kissed so many frogs in order to learn some things about yourself that will make your relationship with your Prince Charming a success.

When I was at Uni I had a boyfriend in the first two years of my studies. In that relationship I learnt that I had some bad habits that can be damaging to a relationship. To be honest I didn’t consider the habits as bad until it was brought to my attention. Now I can’t imagine repeating some of the things I did with someone that I’m in a relationship with. I guess to an extent we should see the process of kissing so many frogs as a polishing process. It allows you to figure out bad habits and traits to eliminate before Prince Charming arrives. Now don’t you want to be near perfect when he arrives?

Having said all of that kissing a lot of frogs can be very damaging to some people because they choose to focus on the negative things that happen in the process. Like all things in life we can allow bad experiences to break us or make us. It’s all in our hands or our heads should I say.

I hope I didn’t waffle on too much and you got the point I was trying to make. I just want to add one more thing: PERSIST UNTIL YOU SUCCED.

Thanks for reading My dating year – stage 23.