Date 9 – Austin

Welcome to date 9 of 26

Guy Profile
Name: Austin
Age: 27
Height: 6.00
Occupation: Personal Trainer
Location of date: London Bridge/Tower Bridge, London

How I met Austin

I met Austin on plenty of fish.com (POF), a free dating site. We got to know each other through messages and the instant chat feature on the site before becoming friends on facebook. Anyone who has used POF knows that it is not a serious site to look for genuine love.

I first went on the site last summer when a friend sent me a message telling me to join the site. As the site is free I thought I had nothing to lose so I joined and a lot of guys showed interest in me right away; which was very flattering but after a while the messages all become so similar that it wasn’t pleasing anymore. I met a guy who I thought I may be interested in even though he was below my height preference. He seemed nice and looked decent so I thought I’d give him a chance. We went on a date and the date was great and I thought things would go uphill from there. Unfortunately I was wrong as he was a rare species who lacked common courtesy and stood me up on what was supposed to be our second date and never gave me an explanation, instead he almost blamed me for his odious behaviour.

After that hideous experience I gave POF another chance but was fed up after some weeks and hid my profile because I was unable to delete my account and I continued to receive the weekly messages that are sent to all POF members.

In February when I was in need of more ways to meet guys for this blog I made my profile visible again, but because of my previous experience my profile status was not as friendly as when I first joined so I didn’t get as much messages as before, but I still received an average of 3 messages a day. I just weren’t attracted to the majority of the guys who sent me messages. There were a few that I thought were attractive but this time round I was sceptical so whenever I got an impression that I didn’t like from conversing with a guy I would simply cease from communicating further.

When I received a message from Austin in early March I thought I would read it like most of the messages that I receive and not reply or just send a polite reply just to show that I have acknowledge his message and leave it as that even if he replies, especially as his main profile picture looked like a mug shot. Instead I read his message and I thought it was nice and I replied. I looked at his pictures and I thought ‘huum, actually he is not bad looking and he doesn’t look like a criminal in the other pictures’. When he replied back I was more than happy to go through the messaging process with him until we became friends on facebook.

Before we became friends on facebook we spoke about going on a date but after a while it didn’t seem like the plan would materialise but I didn’t give up hope even though I knew he had gone on dates with other girls from the site and knew that there was a high chance that he was still dating other girls. I thought even if it takes months to go on a date with him I don’t mind. I still had months before the end of my dating challenge so I could afford to be on the back of his mind and not the forefront, so I just had menial chats with him on facebook so he won’t forget about me.

The date

Whilst we were having one of our regular menial chats, rock climbing came up and we planned to do that as a first date. Our communication level still didn’t increase and right until the day of the date I didn’t speak to Austin on the phone, so I was a bit worried that he wouldn’t show up. To my surprise he did even though he turned up about 10 minutes after me and he looked very handsome. Me on the other hand, I had leggings and trainers on. I thought it would be best to dress in what I was going to rock climb in and change to something better after; which I had in my bag. I looked as cute as I could look without heels on but I didn’t feel as good as I usually feel when on a date.

When we got to the rock climbing place we were told that they couldn’t let us rock climb because we hadn’t done it before and we should call in and book a session for beginners. To be honest I wasn’t disheartened and Austin didn’t seem to mind either. I suggested we look for a bar instead and took him on a detour of London Bridge and Tower Bridge in search of a nice bar. Fortunately after about half an hour or more of walking we saw Abbey which I knew was a good bar because I had been there before. To our surprise it was very packed. I have never before seen so many people in a bar and I became really hot quickly and asked to leave. We went to the next bar that looked good and again it was full of people and was just too much for me to handle so we left and we found another one which was quieter but not as nice as the other two.

We ordered some drinks and I took my trainers off and wore my heels instead because that’s what I feel more comfortable in and he was very keen to see me in heels too. We spoke for some time until I had to leave to meet with my friend who was staying over at mine. Honestly nothing spectacular happened on the date but I enjoyed getting lost with him and not having a clear idea of where we were going. I felt like I could be myself with him and most of all he had a sense of humour; which I really appreciate. He behaved like a big kid at times but I thought it was cute and when we were at the bus stop waiting for my bus, he kept lifting me up like a kid every time we went to hug and I kept telling him to put me down. I thought that was cute too and on my way home I felt like singing and dancing because I actually really liked being with him and I felt how I use to feel after seeing a guy I like when I was in my mid teens.

I really hope to see him again but I feel that because most of the guys that I’ve been on dates with liked me and I didn’t feel the same way Karma might just kick in and he won’t like me as much as I like him.

That’s all for this week folks. Please leave questions and comments below and I will respond as soon as I can.

Thanks for reading My dating year – Date 9!

Date 8 – Eric

Welcome to date 8 of 26

Guy Profile
Name: Eric
Age: 34
Height: 6:00
Occupation: Accounts Administrator
Location of date: Wildwood, Canary Wharf, London

How I met Eric

I first met Eric as I was leaving the Christmas party that we had at work. To be honest when he called me I wanted to blank him and pretend that I didn’t hear him calling me.  I decided not to because I was very new in my role and I didn’t want to give people the wrong impression of myself before they got to know me. When I went over to speak to him he seemed a little tipsy. I told him my friend was waiting for me so I couldn’t chat for long. He said he’d look for me on our work intranet and I said ok. I knew he would have difficulty finding me as my name is quite unique and he didn’t write it down.

The following month whilst we were having an event in a part of the building that’s close to his office, he walked pass and saw me and came over to speak to me. I thought he looked quite different from what I had remembered but he looked ok. Whilst we were speaking I had to attend to a visitor so the conversation ended there and he left. Later in the day I saw him again but this time I noticed that he had quite a lot of grey hair. It’s was a bit off putting if I’m honest.

Later in the week my manager told me that I had a call from someone, who refused to leave their name and said they’ll call back. I asked my manager a few question like was it a guy to try and figure out if it was Eric because I had a feeling it was. She gave me the answers that I was expecting and even showed me a picture of who she thought it was and it was Eric in the picture.

Communication duration before talks of date

After the initial call that I missed, Eric sent me an email and I asked him if he would like to meet up for lunch. From the beginning of February until March we met up for lunch several times and we even made plans to go on a date but he cancelled on me because his daughter was ill. I also asked him if he would like to attend a jazz show with me and again he disappointed me and I went on my own. The show was very good by the way. I’m glad I went.

After the two let downs I had pretty much given up hope in  Eric, so I was quite surprised when he started showing an interest in me again towards the end of March. There was one particular day that he really wanted to see me but I told him I couldn’t leave work. As he finishes work half an hour before me I thought it was best for us to see each other the following day. The next day we met up for lunch. I tried to find out what he wanted to see me urgently about and to my disappointment it was for ‘nothing in particular, I just wanted to catch up with you’. When he said those words, I felt like saying is that it? As the Easter holiday was the following week, he wanted to know what I had planned and if I would have time for us to go on the date that we had previously planned, that he couldn’t make.  I told him that I didn’t have any concrete plans and he should let me know when he’d like to meet up a few days beforehand.

On the last day of the holiday, I saw a missed call from Eric and gave him a call back. He asked me if I was busy and if I would like to go on the date with him that very day. As my plans were flexible I said yes and we made the plans over several phone calls.

The Date

I arrived one minute early to the front of Canary Wharf station (our meeting point) and gave Eric a call. Like a true gentleman he was already there but not right in front of the station. I spotted him within a few seconds and we walked towards each other and hugged and went towards the direction of one of the shopping centres at Canary Wharf.

We had to walk around Canary Wharf several times to find a place that I wanted to eat at because he left me to decide where we should eat. I chose the only restaurant that didn’t have anyone else in it because I didn’t want to eat in a mainstream restaurant, even though the mainstream ones had customers in them therefore indicating that their food is most likely better than the one I picked. As it was just over an hour pass lunch time the emptiness of most of the restaurants was expected and Wildwood suffered the most simply because it isn’t as well known as the other competing restaurants.

The meal was good and Eric was good company too but because I had met up with him for lunch several times before, the date didn’t feel special. He asked if we could do something else another time. I said yes. We decided on rock climbing because we want to do something interesting. The date finished around 5pm because I wanted to see some friends who work in the area. Eric would have liked us to do something else after having lunch but as I didn’t think he would want to spend so much time with me I had planned to see my friends whilst in the area and kill two birds with one stone.

I’m writing this blog two days after the date and I can’t really remember what we spoke about. I just know that I don’t really have romantic feelings for Eric. Maybe the feelings could develop over time as he has some of the qualities that I look for in a guy: He is tall, within the age group that I prefer, ambitious, he has his own place and seems to be a nice person, who I can actually learn a lot from. Having said all that there is a big BUT, he has a little daughter between 3 and 5. I can’t remember her precise age and he broke up with the mum less than a year ago and the daughter lives with him. There is something about this equation that doesn’t add up to me and at the same time it’s not really an equation that I’m motivated to work out. My head says I should give him a chance but my heart doesn’t feel a thing for him.

I’m going to go on a second date with him because I promised but I don’t have any feelings for him (sigh).

That’s all for this week readers. Please leave your questions or comments below and I will respond as soon as possible.

Thanks for reading My dating year – Date 8!