tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3402749339205854212024-03-13T17:52:49.908+00:00My dating yearMy dating year is about my year long journey of finding the perfect guy for me.
I started this challenge by going on dates with pretty much any guy so I can blog about my dating experience. I decided to change course a little pass the half way mark. I'm now only dating guys who I at least have some interest in and meets half of the items on my must have features list of my Mr Right.
Will I find him or will I find holes in my list?Jayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14772972835576957742noreply@blogger.comBlogger28125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-340274933920585421.post-9746403561164332372012-12-31T17:15:00.000+00:002013-01-04T20:32:29.975+00:00Stage 26 – The end!<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Thank you all for following me through my dating year
journey. The year and challenge has now come to an end. I am thankful for the
experience and have learnt a lot from it. Even though it sometimes felt like a
chore to publish new post I enjoyed writing about my dating experiences and my
thoughts on relationships, love, lust and the other things I gave my opinion
on.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Before I go into what I’ve learnt from the whole experience
I’d like to give a quick update on the guys I dated during the year. I haven’t
seen or spoken to the majority of them. I haven’t stayed in contact with the 4
that knew about my challenge and most of the others who didn’t. I’ve only
really stayed in touch with 2, John & Ricardo and communication with them
has been sporadic. John has been so kind to me and he could potentially be a good
friend but as I mistakenly sent him the link to my blog site I haven’t
maintained communication with him since realising the silly mistake I made. I
don’t know if he has read my blog or not, but he hasn’t contacted me as he
usually does to check up on me, so he may have read it. As for Ricardo after our
second date I told him on Blackberry messenger (bbm) that I didn’t want us to
see each other anymore. He tried to call me a number of times to talk about it
but I didn’t answer any of his calls because I felt so bad and I didn’t think there
was anything more to talk about. He didn’t handle it very well and after sending
me a couple of messages, he deleted me as a contact on bbm and bad mouthed me
to my friend. He eventually got over it and tried to get back in touch. At
first I ignored his attempt but by his second or third attempt I gave in and we
both apologised to each other. We still occasionally message each other on
WhatsApp. He seems like a genuine and nice guy but as I said before he is just
not for me.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">From doing this challenge I can honestly say that going on
dates with different guys is exhausting and not for me. I’m a one guy at a time
kind of girl. I’m not into game playing and I hate leading people on
intentionally. I hated the first half of the challenge because I was playing
with the emotions of guys who hadn’t done anything to me. I felt better on dates
with the ones who knew about my challenge and felt freer with them. Aside from
the guy who sent me horrible text messages because I didn’t want to see him
anymore (guy A from Stage 18) and an interrogation from guy X (who I didn’t
even end up going on a date with) because he wasn’t happy about the post on him,
I’ve been lucky enough not to have had bad experiences with the guys. I think
it’s definitely good to go on a number of dates before deciding to settle down with
one person for the rest of your life. I just won’t advise anyone to date so
many people in such a short period of time as I did because you need time to
really discover certain things about some individuals. Let’s take John for
example, when I went on the first date with him he came across dull and I didn’t
think I would ever see him again. He was however polite and kind and remained
so even after our date, that’s partly why I didn’t resist when he asked to meet
up with me again and the second date was fun. If I wasn’t doing my dating
challenge and didn’t stick so rigidly to my list I may have considered a
relationship with him because I think he has the qualities that will make a
good husband. If I had the courage to tell him about this challenge I would
firstly apologise for deceiving him and tell him that he is a fantastic person
and I truly believe he will find someone special. He doesn’t deserve anything
less.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">What I’ve learnt from
this experience<br />
</b>I’ve learnt not to ignore my instinct and sense when it comes to dating. I
think if we all think carefully we can nearly always tell the difference between
the people to give a chance to and the ones who are just simply time wasters.
We may get it wrong from time to time but I think our instincts guide us if we
listen carefully to it. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve learnt not
to stick so rigidly to my wish list and not to be wishful in my thinking. You
cannot help some people to be what you want them to be or hope they become. You
are just straight up incompatible. No one is perfect and acceptance is key. Due
to different backgrounds and life experiences we are all as different from one
another as we are similar. It’s just about knowing yourself and what you can
put up with and finding someone who doesn’t have traits that exceed your
tolerance level. The exterior of a person should always be placed lower than
their principals and character when considering them as a potential partner. Respect
is very important in relationships as well as communication. One should always
seek to understand where the other is coming from before taking things to
heart. I am not perfect and never claimed to be. I had high standards and still
do, this challenge hasn’t changed that. It has however helped to highlight some
things that I need to work on, so Mr Right will know he has found a premium
lady when he finds me. I need to be more tolerant, patient and somewhat flexible.
</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">This is not the ending I originally thought I would have. I
thought I would have had a dramatic Hollywood style ending; where I’ll reveal
my blog site to all of the guys involved and post it on my facebook page and
ask if any of the guys I’m friends with on facebook would like to go on the
final date with me. I’m glad that didn’t happen. I’m just too reserved to be
doing things like this. I am still interested in blogging but not about something
that affects me personally. I hope to turn every post into a book. Whether I
publish the book or not will depend on what I think of the whole experience
after some time away from it.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Thank you so much to all of you who have followed me
throughout this journey and left me comments or gave me feedback personally. I hope
you all got something out of it, educational or entertaining.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Thanks for reading <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">My
dating Year!</i></span></div>
Jayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14772972835576957742noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-340274933920585421.post-74840635660820281542012-12-24T15:31:00.000+00:002012-12-24T15:31:22.447+00:00Stage 25 – Coming to terms with reality
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I want to start of this post by saying I’m sorry to those of
you who expected me to be completely open about my dating life. I’ve been
dating someone for a few months now but I’m not certain about where things are
going with him right now. I know the direction I’d like it to go but I’ve also
prepared myself for the other direction. The guy knows about this challenge and
knows he can google it if he wants to read about it, but as he hasn’t spoken much
about it I’m guessing he hasn’t. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">In the short space of time I’ve known him I can honestly say
he has inspired me to improve in some areas of my life that I’m not so
competent in but have been planning to improve on, i.e cooking. Don’t get me
wrong I can cook to survive and can make edible meals but I’ve never really
been one of those ladies who are really into cooking and cook every day. I feel
ashamed to admit it, especially now but it’s true. I always used to joke about
marrying a chef when my parents tried to force me to learn when I was younger. I
know it’s not too late to learn now. I just feel so ashamed that he can cook a
lot more dishes than I can and because he is so critical of the food he eats
I’m always nervous when I cook for him and look for approval from him. I
haven’t cooked much for him for this reason. I feel like I need to learn and
have even asked one of my aunties to teach me before cooking for him again. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I’ve come across a few challenges with him already and
sought advice from some of my single and non-single friends. As I’ve been single
for such a long time I didn’t think carefully about who I went to for advice. Based
on the type of advice I received from the two groups of friends I have to say
it is very important who you go to for advice. I appreciate the fact that my
single friends listened to me and had something to say to make me feel better
but with hindsight I now know that was the wrong thing to do. There comes a
time in life when we need to cease from going to the usual people that we go to
for help and advice. I’m not saying we should do so because these people don’t
have our best interest at heart, no, they are just not always equipped to give
us the advice we need. “Seek advice from the people who are where you hope to
go”. This is the advice one of my friends, who recently got married gave me
when I told him about this post. I wish I had gone to him when I needed
relationship advice earlier. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I feel like my understanding of relationships has definitely
matured slightly from doing this challenge and I feel prepared to have a
relationship now. I know nobody goes to school to learn how to sustain a
healthy relationship but I feel like I have through this challenge. I’ve been
able to question my approach and reactions to certain things and one thing I’ve
learnt recently about relationships is that it’s important to know where your
partner is coming from. A lot of the time people get upset over things that
others say or do because they’ve heard or seen the situation differently from
how it was meant to be received. I’m not saying I will always take things the
way they were meant, I’m just a bit more mindful of the confusion that can occur
in the process of communication. I usually use my lack of understanding as ammunition
to get over guys because as you all know now my standards are quite high, so if
I feel a guy falls short I usually amplify any bad thing he says or does to me
to get over him if I’m into him. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">As I’ve been getting that look and things said to me that
are usually directed at females who get married late in life from my family I’ve
decided to humble myself and work hard at understanding where the guy I’m
dating is coming from before getting upset over some of the things he says to
me. I still get upset over some things but I’m working on it. Even if things
don’t turn out as I would like them to, I’ve chosen to see my time with him as
an opportunity to grow and learn new things. Most of the things I now appreciate
in life I’ve had to go through pain, shame and stress in order to arrive at
appreciation. As getting married is something important to me I’m ready to put
up with more than I was willing to in the past to get there. I’m just going to
pray for wisdom to be able to decipher what’s worth putting up with and what I
shouldn’t even consider putting up with.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Thanks for reading <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">My
dating year</i> – stage 25.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">PS: The final post of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">My
dating year</i> will be posted within a week from this post. I’m going to give
an update on the guys I went on dates with, more details of what I’ve learnt
from the process and what I plan to do moving forward. I hope you’ll find the
time to read it.</span></div>
Jayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14772972835576957742noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-340274933920585421.post-86553693219392630342012-12-09T19:32:00.000+00:002012-12-09T19:32:45.908+00:00Stage 24 – Issues (the undiagnosed breed)
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Welcome to <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">My dating
year</i> – stage 24</span><br />
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The year is about to come to an end and I’m still single,
not a surprise but I just wanted to mention it. Wow, I can’t believe the year
I’ve had. A lot of ups and downs, with each experience making me a stronger
person. I don’t want to reflect on the year just yet because I’m saving that
for my very last post on my dating year, I can’t wait.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I have to say getting into a serious and meaningful
relationship seems like playing the lottery to me these days. The odds of
picking the right persons seem so low because there appears to be so many wrong
people in the right clothing. I sometimes feel to ask those who are in
meaningful relationships: ‘how did you find each other?’, ‘what procedure did
you take?’, ‘what type of complications did you go through at the beginning and
what made you stay with each other even after the difficulties?’ </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I’ve come to realise that a lot of people have issues. I
know this is common knowledge but I didn’t really realise the extent to this
epidemic until now. I know some of you are probably thinking this girl is a drama
queen and wanting to lol. After you’ve done that just think back to when you
first realised a fact of life that was always prominent but didn’t sink in for
you until one sudden day when you stopped and thought WOW, is this really how
the world/some people are? If you did the exercise properly you might now
appreciate why I said a lot of people have issues. The types of issues that I’m
talking about affect people in all areas of their lives but can be a big roadblock
when dating and looking for a special somebody to settle down with. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Ok, a good amount of people have issues and a lot of the
time you can spot the issues before they come close or just as soon as they do.
The people I’m referring to here are the ones who are so good at hiding their
issues that you almost feel to do a 360° turn so you can play the whole
situation in your head again to try and understand what just happened. The
types of things that make these people qualify as having issues can be very
little but it’s just the fact that they disguise the slightly mental behaviour
and show a completely different side to them until the day they erupt over
silly little things. Yes there are lots of fake people. This breed of people
that I’m talking about is different from the fakes. They don’t seem to be
driven by malicious motives. In fact I don’t even think they have motives for
their actions a lot of the time. They just snap and I don’t think they can
explain why.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Reading the previous paragraph back to myself, I feel as
though I’ve described a group of people who may actually have a minute form of
mental illness and don’t even know it. In essence we could all have some form
of undiagnosed medical issue come to think of it. A lot of the time it’s hard
for us to see our faults for what they are. We often need someone with good
intentions to give us a true reflection of our not so pleasing sides. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The point of this post anyway is how do you
deal with people with undiagnosed issues when trying to peruse a meaningful
relationship with them? Readers if you were dating someone and realised they
had a slight issue, and if isolated could be disliked for it, but when considering
the complete person, and all of their wonderful traits they don’t seem so bad,
what would you do?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">To say I didn’t realise the extent to the epidemic is a bit
of an exaggeration, I know, but a lot of things appear as an epidemic when you
first become aware of them. They do to me anyway. Even though it’s not an
epidemic I think as a society our tolerance of other people’s issues when it
comes to dating is an epidemic. In the old days a lot of people found someone
within their community and just dealt with the good, bad and ugly side to the
person. Personally I think that’s because they didn’t know any better; not like
us who live in a fast paced digitalised world. We can get to a lot of places
more easily and quickly. Some of us even go to other continents to shop and
source some of the essential beauty kits to maintain the celebrity look that
will raise a lot more eyebrows if the guy we are dating is acting up. In a
world where we can get things faster without dispensing much energy and also go
further afield if needs be, is it a waste of time to tolerate some people’s
unexplainable issues when we could easily move on to the next guy or is that
the key to achieving the type of relationship that a lot of people are seeking
for whilst moving from one failed relationship to another?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I really hope I haven’t offended anyone with this post. I’m
just sharing my thoughts out loud so readers please don’t take any offence if
you think differently to me. I would be more than happy to read your thoughts on
this topic below.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Thanks for reading <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">My
dating year</i> – stage 24.</span></div>
Jayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14772972835576957742noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-340274933920585421.post-47461761113577403962012-11-18T20:20:00.001+00:002012-11-18T20:20:56.671+00:00Stage 23 – Always persevere! <span style="font-family: Calibri;">Welcome to My dating year!</span><br />
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">First of all before I begin the topic for this post I just
want to shout HOORAY, I finally passed my driving test. It took a lot of attempts
and changes in my life, as well as, emotional pain to get there but I did it. I
now own a full UK manual driving license. Well done me for not giving up. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I initially wanted to write about something else for this
post but changed my mind because I’d like to stay on the topic of perseverance
and not losing hope. Those of you who read my blog religiously will know that I
wanted to give up on this challenge at one point too. I’m glad I didn’t. I
still don’t have a boyfriend and don’t date as regularly as I did when I first
started the challenge but that’s not because I am disheartened by the fact that
I’m still single. It’s simply because I want to get into a relationship and sometimes
we have to stop and stand still in order to move forward.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">When it comes to the search of a lifelong partner I have to
really commend some people for not giving up. I’d really like to think that
there’s someone out there for everybody. Just because family and friends give
up hope in you it doesn’t mean you should stop looking and hoping to find your
soul mate. Paul McCartney is old and has been through a lot of marriages but he
hasn’t given up on love. I respect him so much for that. Yes he made some wrong
decisions in his choice of partners in the past and may well have made the
wrong decision again with his current wife but who doesn’t make mistakes. If we
all decide not to give things a chance because of the fear of possibly making
the wrong decision what kind of lives would we be living. Those who give into
the fear of possibly having another failed relationship and don’t get into committed
relationships as a result are committed to having failed relationships and are
not good learners.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">When we fail there’s always something to learn from the
failure and improve on. In the process of trying to get my licence I learnt
that my eyesight wasn’t as good as I thought and the world is a lot clearer
than I previously thought. In order to ease the emotional pain I was going
through I decided to take up jogging again and I now have better stamina and
jog a much longer distance that I was capable of in the past. I also learnt to
push through the negative thoughts, disappointment and shame that come with
failing so many times. I knew I’d eventually get my license but the amount of
times I failed did make me question whether I was capable of passing the test.
The point I’m trying to make here is that finding a life partner is not an easy
thing but we shouldn’t give up. In the process of looking, spend time on
improving yourself, so when it finally does happen you’ll be an asset to your
partner. You’ll make him/her realise something about the world or relationships
that they didn’t know.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I was on the tube a couple of days ago and I noticed an advert
for women who are in their forties and wanting to be mums. I thought how nice.
The world has changed and a lot of women are having children later in life now.
Just because a lady has passed 35 it doesn’t mean she should give up on childbearing. Yes pregnancy may be more difficult after a certain age but it
shouldn’t mean that women should give up hope of becoming mums after 35. Mount Kilimanjaro
is a very difficult mountain to climb but that doesn’t stop people from
climbing it. It’s all in the mind. If you believe you can, you will. It doesn’t
matter how long or how many attempts, it’s whether you do it or not that
matters. So if it means having to kiss a lot of frogs to find your Prince Charming
so be it, all of that wouldn’t matter in the end. You may have kissed so many frogs
in order to learn some things about yourself that will make your relationship
with your Prince Charming a success. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">When I was at Uni I had a boyfriend in the first two years
of my studies. In that relationship I learnt that I had some bad habits that
can be damaging to a relationship. To be honest I didn’t consider the habits as
bad until it was brought to my attention. Now I can’t imagine repeating some of
the things I did with someone that I’m in a relationship with. I guess to an
extent we should see the process of kissing so many frogs as a polishing
process. It allows you to figure out bad habits and traits to eliminate before
Prince Charming arrives. Now don’t you want to be near perfect when he arrives?
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Having said all of that kissing a lot of frogs can be very
damaging to some people because they choose to focus on the negative things
that happen in the process. Like all things in life we can allow bad
experiences to break us or make us. It’s all in our hands or our heads should I
say.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I hope I didn’t waffle on too much and you got the point I
was trying to make. I just want to add one more thing: PERSIST UNTIL YOU SUCCED.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Thanks for reading <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">My
dating year</i> – stage 23. </span></div>
Jayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14772972835576957742noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-340274933920585421.post-11905277231766583402012-11-03T20:44:00.001+00:002012-11-03T20:44:42.211+00:00Stage 22 – What bad trait will you over look?
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Welcome to <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">My dating
year</i>. </span><br />
<br />
<div class="WordSection1">
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">My dating life over the past month has been very inactive. I
haven’t been on any dates to report on and I haven’t been thinking much about
dating either. I have however been reading quite a lot of blogs on
relationships and read one recently that really got me thinking. Help! He never
forgives! As daft as it might sound the blog is just as the title says. I don’t
want to go into details about this blog as you can click </span><a href="http://temiville.wordpress.com/2012/10/31/help-he-never-forgives/" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Calibri;">here</span></a><span style="font-family: Calibri;">
to read it. What I will say is that the blog is essentially about a guy who
holds malice with people for long periods of time and doesn’t know how to
forgive. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I am not about to condemn this guy because I myself posses
this bad trait but not to the extent that he does. I tend to give people
chances and can be very forgiving unlike this guy but sometimes common
pleasantries is all I can offer to some people after getting over what they’ve
done to me. Before I get to this stage I go through a stage where the person
doesn’t exist to me. I can happily walk pass the individual on the street and
not even blink at them because I don’t wish to acknowledge him/her. I will say
I am slow to anger so for me to treat a person like this they must have done
something terrible to me.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">A lot of people commented on the blog of topic and all of
them advised the girl in need of help to leave her boyfriend. I don’t think
I’ve ever read a blog where everyone who commented had the same standpoint. Not
being able to forgive seems to be at the top of traits that can’t be overlooked
based on the 39 comments I read. It is usually easier for people to give advice
than to follow it out themselves but I sure do hope that they’ll all do the
same thing if they ever find themselves in the same position, because it’s not
nice being around someone who can’t forgive, not to talk about spending the
rest of your life with that individual.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I personally think the guy who can’t forgive is missing out
by not ever forgiving. I know there are some people who do not deserve to be
forgiven because aside from their wrong doings they never show any remorse for
their actions. The thing about forgiving is that it is more beneficial for the
person who forgives than the one who is forgiven. It frees you up from a lot of
negative feelings and thoughts. It allows you to take hold of the power that
holding malice sucks from you. Imagine seeing someone who wronged you on the
street and confidently walking pass the person with a smile on your face and
having something pleasant to say to the individual. I don’t know about you but
I feel so terrible when I’ve hurt someone and yet they are still nice to me. I
feel much better when they are horrible to me because I feel like I can somehow
justify my wrong doing by their bad attitude towards me.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Another thing about forgiveness is that in some cases when
you forgive you reach a deeper level of connection with the person who you’ve
forgiven. Some of the people I’m close to now, I’m so happy that I was able to
forgive them for their wrong doings and vice versa because they add so much
value to my life; more than the people who’ve never wronged me. One thing I
have to highlight here is that different things upset different people. There
are some things that offend some individuals that make me want to say: ‘you
have nothing better to focus your energy on, that’s why you can take offence to
such a thing’. I also get offended over some small things that I’m sure some
people consider as petty.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Not being able to forgive is definitely a trait I won’t
overlook. The thought of being with such a person seems so painful and deadly.
There are a number of other characteristics that I wouldn’t have overlooked a
few years ago but now will turn a blind eye to. The older I get the more I see
the need to accept people for their strengths and weaknesses, so some of the
things I wouldn’t <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>have stood for before
I might overlook them now because I know there’s more to people than their bad
actions. If an individual falls way short of the level of credibility I like in
the people I keep around me then I just need to walk away from the friendship/relationship.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I found a list of 10 personality traits you will be hated
for which doesn’t include the inability to forgive. I wouldn’t put the traits
in the order the author has, so I recreated my own list and order. Please see
both lists below. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Steven Aitchison’s list (click </span><a href="http://www.stevenaitchison.co.uk/blog/10-personality-traits-you-will-be-hated-for/" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Calibri;">here</span></a><span style="font-family: Calibri;">
to read more about each trait):<span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span></span></div>
</div>
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br clear="all" style="mso-break-type: section-break; page-break-before: auto;" />
</span>
<br />
<div class="WordSection2">
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">1.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Arrogant</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">2.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Rudeness</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">3.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Domineering</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">4.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Dishonesty</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">5.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Temperamental</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">6.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Conceited</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">7.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Unreliable</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">8.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Dependent</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">9.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Pessimism</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">10.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Condescending</span></div>
</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">My list</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">1.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Inability to forgive</i> – I didn’t know
people could actually be like this until reading the blog. I’m not perfect. I
will make mistakes so I need my partner to be a forgiving guy</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">2.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Dishonesty</i> – I know everyone tells lies
every once in a while. I just can’t stand those people who lie to you when they
know you know the truth or those who never own up to things that they clearly
did</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">3.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Unreliable</i> – People who are always unreliable
are selfish and disrespectful. I cannot build a future with such a person</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">4.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Users </i>– I can’t stand people who believe
everyone on this planet has been sent to serve them in one way or another. They
abuse your kindness and don’t even understand that you’ve shown them kindness
because for some reason they think it’s their right to claim whatever you’ve
given them or helped them with</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">5.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Condescending</i>– I think we are all to an
extent condescending but those people who always bring people down because they
are so up there in their own eyes are difficult to be around</span><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">6.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Domineering </i>– I personally dislike this
trait in women more than men because controlling women seem to be more conniving
than controlling men </span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">7.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Pessimism </i>– I actively try to be
positive at all times so it really irritates me when some people always speak
negatively. Life is not perfect but there are also good things in the world. I know
pessimist tend to be the way they are because they are trying to protect
themselves from being hurt, which is understandable but they should please try
to keep their method of withstanding pain to themselves, not everyone likes
that method</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">8.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Temperamental </i>– I usually try to avoid
such people but I’m not able to in every area of my life. I am still praying
for strength to deal with this type of people</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">9.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Rudeness </i>– It really doesn’t cost much
to be polite. I understand that we all have different tolerance level and some
people are provoked into being rude. It’s the people who are constantly rude
even when they are not provoked that I can’t stand</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">10.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">As for conceited and arrogance </i>– I’m not
too bothered by these traits but I don’t think I could be with a guy who possesses
the traits. I’m ok with a guy being a little bit over confident but when he is
too full of himself I don’t think there will be room for me in his life.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">11.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Dependency </i>– I can’t see myself with a
guy who is overly dependent. I didn’t grow up around such men so it’s not a
quality I associate with men who have a place in society.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I personally will not overlook the first 5 traits on my
list but I could probably deal with diluted forms of the other traits.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">What traits can you overlook?</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Thanks for reading <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">My
dating year</i> – stage 22</span></div>
Jayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14772972835576957742noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-340274933920585421.post-5872003265385653402012-10-18T21:47:00.000+01:002012-10-20T12:21:22.752+01:00Stage 21 – Work & family - can they be balanced or does one have to give?<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Hi Readers,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Sorry for the late post. This week has been very hectic for
me. We had a very successful event at work and I’m still trying to recover from
it.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I’ve really struggled to decide on a topic for this post but
I have decided on one that’s currently on my mind; which isn’t directly
related to dating but has some relation.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Things happen to us that sometimes make us feel like shutting
the door on the world (this is not a suicidal comment, so please don’t read too
much into it), but as a lot of you may know life goes on whether we like it or
not. Since graduating from University I’ve gone through a few things that have
made me feel quite low and I’ve come to learn that adversity is part of life
and it teaches us about ourselves. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Whenever I find myself struggling with something and just before
winter I often ask myself: what is my motivation? When I was younger I always
thought I’d grow up to be a woman who is career driven, but I also thought I’d
have a family. Lately I’ve been asking myself: what are my priorities and how
are they ordered? As much as I like my job and I’m grateful for it, work is not
my number one priority. At the moment I spend most of my time at work than anywhere
else (this calculation does not include the time I spend sleeping). I know this
is the norm for anyone who has a full time job and very successful professional
men and women spend far more time than I at work or doing work. Whilst the men
tend to have children, the women don’t and if they do they either had them when
they were quite young or they hardly spend time with their children. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I don’t want to say I’m feeling broody, especially as I’m
single, but I think about what I want for my children when I have them a lot
these days. I think about the amount of time that I want to invest in them, so
they’ll grow up to have certain values and the confidence that they can do
whatever they put their mind to, regardless of what others have to say. In
order to achieve this goal I consider being a mum as a top priority after my
relationship with God, as that’s also something I’d like to invest a lot of time
in. After reading Proverbs 31 and thinking about the qualities that I possess,
I think I could be a great help mate for the guy I settle down with, so in order
to have the type of family and marriage that I’d like, my husband also has to be
a top priority. Ideally my aim is to have the following prioritised as shown
below.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">1.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">God</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">2.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">My husband</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">3.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">My children</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">4.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">My mum, sister, brother</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">5.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Work/Business</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">6.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Friends</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">7.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Education</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">8.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Extended family</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">9.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Community contribution </span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt 36pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">10.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Everything else</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">As shown above work is not a top priority at all. That is
not to say I won’t give it my all whilst I’m there, it’s just that I care more
about the things that I’ve placed before it. From what I know about big organisations
and some medium and small companies they seem to expect a lot from their staff
and they want employees to have passion for what they do. The more passion and
time you put into a company, the more likely they are to reward you by promoting
or giving you more benefits. As much as it’s great to be rewarded for ones hard
work, how can I have the conducive relationship that I want with my husband,
children and God if I’m too busy with work or spending most of my time there?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I know a lot of women manage to balance work and motherhood,
which is good and encouraging but I’m just saying that I have given this topic
a lot of thought lately and I’m really considering my options. Time will tell
what I’ll decide to do when I meet the one and have children. I may surprise
myself and discover that I have a lot of energy and I’m able to balance
everything well. If that happens I can truly add myself to the list of extremely
blessed people in this world.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Apologies if this is not the type of post you were hoping to
read. I just wanted to share a different side to me.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Thanks for reading <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">My
dating year</i> – stage 21</span></div>
Jayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14772972835576957742noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-340274933920585421.post-18709491470710881862012-09-27T19:13:00.001+01:002012-12-28T13:19:53.599+00:00Stage 20 – The law of attraction<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Welcome to <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">My dating
year</i>!</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Have you read or heard of the book called: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Secret</i>? If you have and don’t buy its
message please don’t stop reading this post because of that. I truly believe
the book’s core message has played a key role in my dating challenge, but before
I explain its relevance to <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">My dating year</i>,
I have provided a short synopsis of the book below for those of you who haven’t
heard of it.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Synopsis of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Secret<o:p></o:p></i></span></b></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The Secret is about the law of attraction. The author uses a
lot of quotes from the bible, other religious and non religious books to emphasise
the belief that most of the things we experience are due to what we called into
our lives. In other words the life you live now is based on your past thoughts.
The following quote sums up the book: </span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">‘I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable
ability of man to elevate his life by conscious endeavour.’ Henry David
Thoreeau. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">If you think positively, hope for the best and visualise the
outcome you are after regularly, and consciously stay on this wave length of
thinking you will see opportunities that will bring what you’ve been visualising
to reality. If on the other hand you moan, get depressed and constantly think
about how your life isn’t going as you’ve planned it to be, it will continue to
go off course. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The law of attraction is most noticeable in the lives of
those who have gone through deep adversities. Those who are cheerful and eager
to help when their lives on the outside looks as though it’s falling apart and
only a miracle can bring it back together. According to the book anyone is able
to come out of a really bad situation by staying positive, consciously
uplifting their spirit when they feel it’s getting down and constantly visualising
the outcome they are after.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The law of attraction
- its impact on <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">My dating year</i></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I am a believer of the law of attraction, even though I have
difficulty practising it. I also believe that the concept can be very
misleading. From the beginning of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">My
dating year</i> I have attracted a lot of things consciously and unconsciously.
I strongly believed two things; I would complete the challenge and the chances
of me getting into a serious relationship this year is minute. There have been
times when I’ve thought and hoped otherwise but for the most part I’ve thought
and believed these two things. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">In regards to getting dates I thought it would be hard at
times and it was, but deep down I believed I could get a lot of guys to go on
dates with me. This is not because I’m arrogant or narcissistic. I was just
more focused on how I was going to make it happen rather than why it wouldn’t
happen. It meant I had to put myself out there and in doing so I drew myself closer
to the guys I’ve blogged about. Another thing I knew was in order for me
to go on as many dates as I wanted to I had to consider the type of guys I
wouldn’t normally, in the process of doing so I have attracted the reality of
being single for the majority of 2012 and most likely the whole year.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">As I mentioned in my last post I even attracted the type of
guy I was after according to my list, through continuous mentions and
visualisation of the items on my list. About three weeks ago I went to a friend’s
wedding. I was told it was invite only so I wasn’t able to bring a plus one
with me. I was really looking forward to the wedding and in my heart I knew I
would meet someone and I did. Unlike the guy I talked about in my last post I
was attracted to this guy. He didn’t tick vital items on my
list but because I was attracted to him physically I didn’t care. I spent some
time with this guy and threw a lot of the things that usually matter to me out of
the window. My senses returned when the song he was singing in the first week
started to change and I realised it was not the beat that I really wanted to
dance to so I called it off and learnt a big lesson in the process.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I learnt that not everything that you consider to be good for
you when you wished it turns out that way. I’ve always thought weddings are a
good place to meet guys and as the guy I met had a suit on, I was even more
attracted to him (it’s a wedding that’s what guys wear at such events derrr). I
would have preferred not to have met this guy knowing what I know now but I don’t
regret getting to know him because I’ve learnt about myself and how quickly I can
lose sight of my goal over wishful thinking. This guy clearly wasn’t for me and
there were plenty of signs telling me this. A friend of mine who doesn’t
usually impose her views on me even sent me a message ordering me not to get
involved with this guy because he is so far from what I want. Although I told
my friend <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was in control of the
situation I was really focusing and hoping his tomorrow would be more in line
with what I need from the guy I settle down with.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I found what I wanted
in the guy I blogged about last but I wasn’t physically attracted to him or
felt at ease with him, so I decided not to follow my list so rigidly. I then
found a guy I was attracted to and deep down hoped he’ll possess the things on
my list gradually but his agenda wasn’t in sync with mine, so he had to go. For
the first time during this process I am very upset with myself for the silly
decisions I made about the guy from the wedding and I’m still trying to shake
off the disappointment in myself.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I realised that although the package looks like what I
ordered, it doesn’t mean it’s going to operate the way I want it to. This is
why I think the law of attraction can be misleading but I wouldn’t say it is flawed.
In gaining what we want to attract, we sometimes learn that we don’t always
wish for the correct things. Instead of me looking for a partner who has this
and that, my focus should really be on how he makes me feel. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Secret</i> does mention that rather than
wishing for the things that we think would bring happiness we should instead wish
to be happy as those things may bring sadness instead.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">There is a Chinese proverb that goes like this: ‘May you get
what you wish for’. There are different ways of reading into this proverb but
my interpretation is that some of the things that we wish for are not good for
us. For a person to curse you by saying ‘may you get what you wish for’, it
means they know you are not wise and almost incapable of knowing what’s
really good for you. They don’t need to mention the bad things they wish you to
experience as they trust you’ll do it all by yourself.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Thanks for reading <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">My
dating year</i> – stage 20.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
Jayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14772972835576957742noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-340274933920585421.post-29878497860025050142012-09-16T14:57:00.003+01:002012-09-18T22:54:53.169+01:00Stage 19 – He ticks everything on my list so why aren’t I into him?<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Those of you who follow my blogs or have read blog 16 will
know that there are certain features and characteristics that I want in the guy
I settle down with.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Throughout my dating
process I have kept my list in mind, even though I have learnt a number of
things along the way which I believe are much more important than my list.</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">To reiterate if you haven’t read blog 16, the things I had
on my list are: kind, mature, clean, respectful, DIY, very ambitious, tall,
between 27-35 years old, well paid and a God fearing man. Right until recently
I hadn’t found anyone who ticked everything on the list, not until I met guy B
a few weeks ago. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">When guy B first approached me I actually thought this is
the kind of guy I’m looking for based on his physical appearance. He had a suit
on. He was tall and approached me in a respectful way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He also came across quite down to earth and
humble. We arranged a date not long after and went for a meal and saw a play at
the West End.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">When we sat down for the meal he changed. He became very
serious and the playful side that I saw in him when I first met him
disappeared. I even mentioned to him that I feel like you’ve turned into a
different person all of a sudden and he said it was because he wanted me to see
a serious but not office like side to him. I didn’t like that because that’s
not who I met. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Throughout the date he
did and said all the right things but the more he tried to impress the more
turned off I became.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I went to a wedding
with him the following day and that went well and I actually liked him more on
that day. He helped out throughout the wedding because he was part of the
organising team. I didn’t mind that I was on my own most of the time because <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>he tried when he could to spend some time with
me and showed me that he very much wanted to be with me but duty called. </span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The following day I saw him again and I was back to feeling
turned off. I really didn’t understand why, especially as he ticked everything
on my list and was doing all he could to show me that he really cared about me.
I decided to see him the following day for the fourth consecutive day in hope
that I will feel something for him, but like the day before I didn’t and I
started avoiding him after that. Whilst I was avoiding him, he was still being
a kind gentleman by giving me the space that I had asked for but also tried to involve
me in his life by telling me that he is in the process of buying tickets for us
to see a comedy show together. As sweet as that may sound, I think it is
slightly controlling because he didn’t ask me if I wanted to go to the show or
if I was even available. He just dropped it into a conversation that he was buying
tickets for us to go to a comedy show. I had to ask who the us was and declined
when he said it was me and him. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I have questioned myself over and over again, why am I not
into this guy when he has everything on my list and almost desperately wants to
be with me. The best answer that I can give myself is that my spirit doesn’t
feel happy about him. I don’t understand how you can fall so deeply for someone
in such a short time and suffocate the person by making them feel as though
they are in a relationship with you within a few days of meeting. What happened
to the time spent getting to know each other before deciding to officially be
together and no longer date others.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I also felt as though guy B and I spoke different languages
because we didn’t understand each other’s sense of humour nor did we really
know what motivated each other. In fact there were a lot of things that I just
felt could not be ignored before deciding to be with someone that he was whole
heartedly ready to ignore because he thought we would be perfect for each
other.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I don’t know if it’s because we are 6 years apart in age and
I’m just not as mature as him yet to see things as quickly as he did, but what
I do know from this experience is that as much as it’s important to have a list
my spirit must feel at ease when I’m with the guy I choose to settle down with.
I really did try to like guy B for the sake of my list but as I created my list
and not the other way round I refuse to let my list have full control of my
love life.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Thanks for reading <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">My
dating year</i> – stage 19.</span></div>
Jayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14772972835576957742noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-340274933920585421.post-88436330971694596252012-09-02T18:48:00.002+01:002012-09-03T08:13:37.996+01:00Stage 18 – I’m just not that into him<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Over the last month I’ve been on dates with 2 very different
guys. I went on 2 dates with guy A, who I didn’t really want to go on a date
with because I wasn’t really into him but I thought I’d go anyway because he
was quite persistent. I had a good time on the date but as I weren’t into him I
didn’t try to initiate a second date. He on the other hand did, and again was
very persistent, so I met up with him again. This time round I told him that I
had been on a lot of dates this year and he wanted to know how he was measuring
up with the other guys because he thinks he and I will be great together. I
told him the furthest I had gone with any of the guys is a second date and he
said: ‘that means I have a good chance’ and I replied with: ‘not necessarily’
and I didn’t give an explanation for saying so, even though he asked for one.
As most people do when they are not into a guy/girl I ceased from contacting
him after the date, and I also changed my phone days after from Blackberry to
an iPhone 4, so a lot of people weren’t able to get through to me on
blackberry messenger. </span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Whilst I was writing my last post he called and I answered
cheerfully but he wasn’t as friendly to me. He basically told me off for not
behaving the way he wants me to and then tried to get me to reassure him that he
and I could have a future together and I refused. I was silent instead and when
he realised he wasn’t going to get the response he wanted he hung up. Aside
from not being attracted to this guy, his behaviour made me feel even more justified
for not contacting him and I hoped that would be the last I heard from him
because I didn’t understand why he was pressuring me to behave a certain way
and to form a relationship with him when I had only known him for a couple of
weeks.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Days after my last encounter with guy A, I sent a message to
pretty much everyone who was on my blackberry messenger, who also had WhatsApp,
informing them that my blackberry messenger was temporarily out of use but they
could get through to me on WhatsApp. He was one of the people who I sent the
message to. I did so out of politeness because I really didn’t want him to know
that he could get through to me on WhatsApp. Days later he sent me several rude
messages on WhatsApp and in one of them he mentioned how laughable it is that I
go on dates for free meals. I asked him to send me his bank details so I could
pay my half of the meal. He replied with: ‘I don’t want money off you’ and then
tried to be nice and insisted that I do one nice thing for him. I refused
because I didn’t understand what he was playing at and I thought doing a nice
thing for him because he asked me to was only going to defeat the purpose of
being nice. Also because of the way he had behaved to date I didn’t want him to
think that I had given him the green light for us to start a relationship together
by doing that one nice thing. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The WhatsApp
conversation continued on until he got the affirmation he needed to think things
were back on track and all he had to do was be nice to me and pretend to care
about me and he’ll have me right where he wanted me to be.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Before he first called to tell me off, he had called a few
times and each time I told him I was busy preparing for a church event and told
him when the event will take place. After our last encounter on WhatsApp he
messaged me to ask how the church event went and mentioned that he hopes I get
a lot of praise for it. That in itself irritated me because everything I do at
church is not for what others will say or think of me. I do it because I can
and as part of the church community I feel the need to contribute. Irritation
aside, I told him that the event hadn’t happened and it will take place the
following week. Less than a week later and before the Sunday of the event he sent
me another message asking how the event went. I didn’t respond because <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I knew he didn’t genuinely care and as the
event hadn’t happened it was clear that he didn’t really take in what I had
told him and was just pretending to have an interest in what I do. The next day
he messaged again stating he can delete my number if I don’t wish to
hear from him again. I didn’t respond and thought he would take that as confirmation to delete my number. Unfortunately for me he didn’t and he sent me
another insulting message almost a week later. </span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I personally don’t want to delete his number because if he tries
to call me with his number I want to know it’s him calling so I won’t answer. I
just hope he gets over the hurt that he is feeling and leaves me alone because
he is actually really scaring me and I don’t believe I’ve done anything wrong
to make him behave in such an abusive way. It is perfectly normal to go on
dates with people and then decide you don’t want to see them anymore. Some of
my dates haven’t been interested in me after our date but I got the picture and
I moved on. Sending rude messages is just childish and it says the person
sending the message does not know how to handle his/her emotions.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I’m going to share my very different experience with guy B in
my next post, which is due in 2 weeks. As much as I tried to keep my encounter with
guy A brief it has taken too many words and I don’t want those of you who don’t
like reading long blogs to be turned off, so please check out my next post to
read about my experience with guy B. </span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Thanks for reading <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">My
dating year</i> – Stage 18</span></div>
Jayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14772972835576957742noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-340274933920585421.post-91128344243489331542012-08-19T22:01:00.001+01:002012-08-20T07:19:06.063+01:00Stage 17 - Love & Lust<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Love & Lust</span></b><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Before I begin my entry this week, I want to look at the
definition of the following words: lust & love.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Lust<o:p></o:p></span></span></i></b></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Oxford dictionary:</b>
‘strong sexual desire’.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span class="orth3"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: windowtext; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Urban
dictionary: ‘</span></b></span>often confused with love, it is purely physical
attraction and has no lasting effect.’</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Love<o:p></o:p></span></span></i></b></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Oxford dictionary:
</b>‘a strong feeling of affection’.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span class="orth3"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: windowtext; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Urban
dictionary: </span></b></span><span class="orth3"><span style="color: windowtext; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">‘the most
spectacular, indescribable, deep euphoric feeling for someone.’<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span class="orth3"><span style="color: windowtext; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We are now 33 weeks into this
year and I’m now starting to see certain things about dating and relationships.
I’ve always believed that the best way to start a relationship is to have
strong feelings for the person you are entering the relationship with and there
should be butterflies in your stomach and you should always be filled with glee
when you think about the other person. I was quite young when this idea entered
my head. From what I remember I got it mainly from the media. Films, music
videos, books, adverts and I always assumed that most relationships started
this way. To be honest I didn’t think much about what it took to keep the
romance going in a relationship and I didn’t realise until the past few years
that romance and love are choices that people who experience it make. They are
not God given rights. It doesn’t just happen automatically like lust. It takes
time and conscious effort. <o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span class="orth3"><span style="color: windowtext; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">In the past few months I’ve
listened to several videos and read a number of books and blogs, which I
believe have really opened my eyes and heart to what love is. The verb ‘give’
in essence is the main signifier of love. When I first heard someone talking
about how love is not about what you get from the other person, and those in relationships
for what it offers them are simply in a contract and they’ve agreed with their
spouse to do something in return for something else and are simply fulfilling
the terms of the contract and not in love; I realised for the first time that
my internal definition of love has been wrong all these years. Love is not
selfish or self gratifying. I literally had a light bulb moment. It’s not that
I haven’t come across this new definition of love (new to my spirit) before
because I have. I listened to Destiny Child’s song, outro (thank you), where
Michelle explains the characteristics of love. At the time, I didn’t see love
as something I had control over. I thought it just happened naturally. I didn’t
realise that I have to actively show love. I thought whoever I end up with will
just love me for me without me making much effort. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span class="orth3"><span style="color: windowtext; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I think I’ve subconsciously
subscribed to the love at first sight theory without realising it, because
whenever I go on a date with a guy I never focus on what I should really be
looking for in a potential life partner. I always hope to meet the guy and
really like him to the point that I’d want to think about him all the time. Not
until after watching the vlog: <a href="http://www.youtube.com/user/RestoredCOG?v=nX0nUGYoaZc&feature=pyv&ad=17693375867&kw=dating" target="_blank">Dating and courtship - do you understand the real purpose of dating?</a> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span class="orth3"><span style="color: windowtext; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">did I realise what I should have been asking myself whilst
dating.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This whole time I’ve been
focused on my list which was more concerned with my wants. Not once did I ask
myself whether I have or could develop genuine admiration and respect for any
of these guys. Even the ones I liked, looking back now I can’t say I admired
them. I was just on an emotional high (lust) and once the high cleared off I
didn’t really have the respect that I have for some of my male friends for
these guys. If things had gone my way whilst I was on an emotional high I would
have probably found myself in a relationship and months later realised that I
don’t even like the guy because I don’t admire who he is and how he chooses to
live his life. Not to talk of wanting to love him.</span></span><span class="orth3"><span style="color: red; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span class="orth3"><span style="color: windowtext; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">As much as that vlog has
revolutionised my thinking of what to look for in a potential partner I can’t
say that I will be giving up my list just yet. I now subscribe to the
definition of love being about giving and it’s a choice that people make. But
before I can give my all to a guy and choose to love him whole heartedly and
unconditionally, I still need him to meet a certain standard. I’m not saying
that if over time he loses some of the attributes on my list I will stop loving
him, I’m just saying to begin with I need him to have certain qualities that I
believe will make me respect him before developing long lasting respect and
admiration for him. This is not to say that I don’t respect guys who don’t meet
my criteria. I will have the type of life that I want by meeting a guy who
meets my criteria and when we make a choice in life we take a number things
into consideration and don’t blindly decide to do things and then deal with the
consequences. My criteria is one of the things I will consider before choosing
to love a guy. I may compromise on some things but not on some. For example I
want a guy who is ambitious. Not completely for my sake but for his too. When
you are ambitious you see possibilities and you ooze positivity, more so than
those who lack ambition and people who have a positive approach to life tend to
have happier lives.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I realise that this love that I’m talking about is not
going to be a walk in the park to fulfil but if I diligently focus on finding a
guy who meets my criteria and is highly respectable and admirable in my eyes
I’m sure I could develop love for him over time, even if I don’t have the
intense rush of emotions at the start. The definitions of love above don’t
mention attraction as a component to love. They mentioned affection and euphoric
feeling but neither of these words translates to attraction.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Readers do you agree with my new understanding of love or
do you think this way of thinking is unrealistic and if attraction is not there
from the start it may never come? Should love be about attraction?</span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Thanks for reading <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">My
dating year</i> – Stage 17.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
Jayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14772972835576957742noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-340274933920585421.post-1244941791004069422012-08-07T21:24:00.000+01:002012-08-07T21:33:58.483+01:00Stage 16<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><strong>Rational or irrational?</strong></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I would like to start this entry by saying: it feels so nice
not to have to go on so many dates anymore!!!!!! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Going
on dates is also more enjoyable now. I went on a date over a week ago with a
guy I met whilst walking home from a friend’s graduation party. We didn’t
really do anything exciting but it was a nice date. We just grabbed a bite from
a kebab shop, went to a very nice bar after and then he let me drive his Mercedes.
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We also conveniently went to Asda, where
I bought packs of bottled water before he dropped me home. Even though my past dates
haven’t been terrifying I felt very relaxed on this date. Everything seemed to
have happened naturally. I didn’t have to initiate the date as I did in the
past or purposely influence him to ask me on a date by showing a little more
interest than I actually had in him; nor did I say or do the things I knew he
liked more for a desired effect.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I can’t say I was
mesmerized by him when he stopped me. I even gave him the name I give to guys
that I have no interest in when he asked for my name. I was ready to give him
the second line: ‘I have a boyfriend’ too but decided against doing so after hearing
him speak. He spoke and came across quite well. Since our date we’ve stayed in
touch and he is making the effort to gain something out of meeting me. I’m just
not sure what and I don’t see us going any further than just being friends. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is where I pause to ask myself why? In my
phone I have a picture of written words, stating: ‘I’M SINGLE UNTIL I FIND MY
KIND, MATURE, CLEAN, RESPECTFUL, DIY, VERY AMBITIOUS, TALL, BETWEEN 27-35YR
OLD, WELL PAID, GOD FEARING MAN’. From what I know about this guy I don’t think
he is far from this description but yet I’m not convinced I can have a relationship
with him.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Relationship Matchmaker, Paul Carrick Brunson would probably
describe my idea of my perfect guy, based on what I’ve highlighted in the
picture as somewhere between the shopping and investment mentality. He
describes the shopping mentality as a focus on characteristics and the utility benefits
of having a partner in one’s life. For example I want the guy who I plan to get
with to be able to fix things around my house. The investment mentality on the
other hand is to look at a potential partner’s values, their vision and to consider
if they are in line with one’s own values and vision; does the person bring out
the best in you and do they speak the same love language as you? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I believe my list is very much value focused,
so much so that when I received: ‘I was gonna come pass yours and chill for a
bit but if you are too busy another time’ from this new guy, I lowered my eyebrows
because I don’t think it’s respectful to suggest coming to my home when we’ve
only met up once. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Since I started this challenge in January I didn’t until now
think properly about the next stage after dating. It’s almost as if I’ve been
in this bubble, where I expect guys to treat me as a princess by taking me out
to nice places and looking their best and saying all the right things and never
ever looking at me as a piece of meat. I hate when guys look at me like that.
Looking back on all my dates, I’ve not once thought of inviting a guy back home
with me and whenever guys have asked or merely insinuated that they want to
come to my house I’ve either been real irritated and figured out a way to get out
of letting the guy into my home or I’ve been really defensive. I even had a
full on argument with one guy on WhatsApp over this. I didn’t realise then that
it isn’t irrational for a guy to expect to come to my house when he knows I
have my own place. I just thought the guy I argued with was a dirty prick and I
didn’t understand why he would think it’s ok to suggest coming back to my house
after a date.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Now that this new guy has sent me that message, I find
myself looking for a way to avoid ever inviting him to my house. On my way back
from work sometime this week it dawned on me that there might be something
wrong with me. I automatically assume that guys want sex when they ask if they
can come to my house. Even though I may be wrong in thinking so, there are so
many reasons why I may also be right. According to Steve Harvey, author of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Act like a lady, think like a man,</i> men
are always calculating whether they can afford a lady, even before they step to
her. They go as far as assessing the cost of transportation and every other
cost they may incur in order to have sex with her. If they feel the cost of
attaining sex from one particular lady is too much, they won’t bother. They’ll
find another lady who they can sleep with more easily without having to dig
into their savings.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I have my own
place, I can’t help but think some guys will try to exploit me for this reason.
It’s cheaper for them to come to my house and chill than take me out as
frequently as I would like to go out. I’m especially irritated when they ask
right from the get go if I live with my parents or alone. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">When the guys I’ve been on dates with this year have asked
to come to my house I’ve nearly always demonised them in my head. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve been single for a while now and the last
time I was in a relationship I was 20 years old. I thought differently to how I
think now. I’ve experienced things and seen things which have made me less
naive in some regards.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I feel like I now
have a much better understanding of what it means to be in a relationship and I
feel like when I get into one I’m going to give a lot more than I did in the
past. So the idea of bringing a guy who I don’t see a future with into my house
scares me and almost makes me short of breath. I almost feel like I’m putting
my life on the line if I invite such a guy into my home.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Time will tell if I will react the same way when a guy who
I’m very interested in asks the dreaded question.</span><br />
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Thanks for visiting <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">My
dating year</i> – stage 16.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">As always please leave comments and questions below and I’ll
endeavour to reply as soon as possible.</span></div>Jayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14772972835576957742noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-340274933920585421.post-19291245345814951472012-07-28T21:07:00.000+01:002012-07-29T09:13:49.101+01:00Change of direction!<span style="font-family: Calibri;">My dating year</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Change of direction!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">If you read my last blog you may be curious to find out
what the new era that I mentioned is all about. If you didn’t keep reading you may
take away something that you didn’t expect to find and besides you are already
on my page so you might as well continue reading.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The big reason for the change as I mentioned is that I’m
tired of just dating to blog and I want to meet someone. I want a relationship.
I want to build a future with someone. I want to be someone’s reason for
getting up when most things seem bleak. I want someone who will make me want to
rush home after work to cook him something nice and present the food in the
most immaculate way I can think of. He probably won’t care how presentable the
food looks but I want to go out of my way because the guy motivates me to be my
best and in being my best I have to give him the best I can.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I certainly hope that some of my readers got something
out of my blogs and what I now call the old era; whether it’s educational or
entertaining. It definitely made my day to hear 2 separate guys who don’t know
each other say they are learning from my blogs. I can tick one of my core
reasons for starting <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">My dating year</i>. Thanks
guys for voicing the appreciation. You know who you are.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Aside from wanting to meet someone, I got to a point of
frustration with this challenge and blogging. I didn’t feel I was really giving
my readers as much as I promised I was going to give in terms of opening up
about how I feel about each situation. There’s only so much you can learn about
a person from a first date. As that’s all I was going on and the occasional
second dates I didn’t really feel I was experiencing enough to help others who
aren’t as experienced when it comes to dating. I was finding out important
things about most of the guys after the dates but I didn’t report these details
because I didn’t initially want to focus on the aftermaths of my dates. I don’t
think it’s right that I have kept you readers out of the loop as some of you
might have gained more from the after events than the actual dates. The format
of my blog didn’t allow me to provide continuous updates, sorry.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I felt like my blog was losing purpose. I had gone on
enough first dates for anyone who is completely new to dating to learn from,
especially guys. I communicated my frustration to a few friends and stumbled
upon a very useful blog site called: </span><a href="http://www.hookingupsmart.com/"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Calibri;">Hooking
Up Smart</span></a><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> out of boredom and decided
to change the direction of my challenge after being inspired by some of the
blogs I read on the site. I am redefining what <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">My dating year</i> means and making it more purposeful and even if you,
readers of my blog site, don’t gain from the change I will at least walk away
with a degree in “datingology”. It may not be a certified degree but I will
certainly have the knowledge to hold on to.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">In this process of change I have started evaluating
myself and thankfully I have some people around me who aren’t afraid to tell me
the truth about some of my not so attractive qualities, which can turn some
guys off. I will use the next couple of blogs to explore some of these
qualities that I’m working on changing and I will also examine some of the
characteristics that men don’t like about women and vice versa. I have bought
some books and already done one poll and watched some videos on dating and
relationships in order to learn more and bag myself the kind of man who is
really for me, based on who I am and what I want out of life.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">From now on I will blog about the process of finding
someone special. I will still go on dates and talk about the dates but not so
much in isolation. I will compare some of the guys and only go on dates with
guys that I can see myself with and not just say yes or initiate dates with
guys who I have no interest in as I did in the previous era. There may be weeks
where I won’t go on dates but I will still put myself out there and write about
how the search is coming along and the new theories and ideas that I have
decided to subscribe to and how I’m finding them. If I’m lucky enough to find a
guy who I’m really interested in and vice versa and decide to see him only I
will continue to blog about the relationship until the end of 2012.
Realistically speaking I don’t think I’ll be finding a guy to settle down with
any time soon because I don’t think I have fully transitioned from the shopping
to the investment mentality when it comes to dating as Paul Carrick Brunson, a
relationship matchmaker puts it. I will exemplify this theory in my next entry.
</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The plan is to keep the same format as the last era, so I
will continue to post new entries every two weeks but my next entry will be
next week as it’s the second week after date 15. Instead of titling the blogs
as “date...” they will now begin as “stage...(following from the last number
I had” so the next entry will be titled: “stage 16” as I believe I’m on a
journey. My idea of dating is about to change. </span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I carried out a poll called: ‘How I met my partner’;
which 57 people filled in, 57.4% of whom were in a relationship and the other
42.6% were single. I found out that when it comes to meeting someone to have a
committed relationship with most people in a relationship tend to meet their
partners at family/friends parties/gathering. Even the single people who
actively go out to find a partner voted family/friends parties/gathering joint
first with church as the place where they go to to find a potential partner.
Interestingly online dating site and school/college/university were voted joint
second place as the location where those in relationships found their partners
and professional events was voted second by the singletons.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I did this survey so I can increase my chances of finding
a partner by simply going to the same places where those in relationships said
they attended to find their partners. As they say, there’s no point in reinventing
the wheel. I may not meet the guy I’ll settle down with in the top voted places
but I am willing to give it a try by attending more family and friends events. I’m
not happy that online dating was voted quite highly because I’ve already done
that and got the t-shirt and it’s not my preferred method but I’ll give it
another try. I gained some insightful information which I will refer to over
the course of this journey.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I want to apologise for not going on a second date with
Curtis before changing direction. I have not ruled out a second date with him
but because it’s been so long since our last date I don’t think either of us feel
anything for each other so if I go on a second date with him it will be more to
honour the vote that some of you made.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I hope you all follow me in this new journey and I hope
it’s more useful than the previous era. Please leave me a comment below to let
me know of your thoughts on my change of direction.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Thanks for reading <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">My
dating year</i> – Change of direction!</span></div>Jayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14772972835576957742noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-340274933920585421.post-7964976555754577542012-07-20T20:49:00.004+01:002012-07-22T10:05:34.167+01:00Date 15 – Isaiah<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Welcome to date 15 of 26</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Guy Profile<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Name: Isaiah</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Age: 23</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Height: 6.0</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Occupation: Regional Trainer </span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">How I met Isaiah<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I met Isaiah through the same friend who introduced me to
X (new readers please refer to date 4 to read about my encounter with X). When
my friend first told me that he had another friend who was interested in going
on a date with me, I think I said: ‘I’m not really interested in your loserish
friends, kmt’. </span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">His response: ‘this friend is of a different level to
you’. </span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">My response: ‘what do you mean, a higher level or a lower
level?’ </span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">His response: ‘A higher level of course.’ </span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I was so offended. If I was a cartoon character you would
see steams coming out of my ears. I tried to let the comment slide and not be
affected by it and luckily for him the comment didn’t affect our friendship. </span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Weeks later I was in need of a date and I spoke to this
same friend about my need. Whilst speaking, he called the friend of his that he
claims to be on a different level to me but unluckily for me he was out of
town. At this point I wasn’t really fazed by my friend’s comment, I just needed
a date and I was more than happy to go on a date with the friend had he not
been out of town. A week or more later I met Isaiah and my friend asked me what
I thought of him. I responded with: ‘he’s alright’. What I really meant was: ‘I
think I like what I see and yeah I would like to go on a date with him’. I
didn’t want my friend to know that I felt that way because how dare he tell me
that his friend is of a higher level than me, smh (shaking my head - to those
of you who aren’t familiar with the abbreviation), kmt.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Another couple of weeks went by and I saw Isaiah again.
This time I didn’t really pay much attention to him and I felt myself coming across
as unfriendly because of that. For some reason the picture of me being unfriendly
kept playing over in my head, so I asked my friend to apologise to him on my
behalf for not being friendly. The feedback was: he wasn’t offended and he said
it’s cool. The following day my friend sent me Isaiah’s number so I could
arrange a date with him. I whatsApped him that very day but we didn’t arrange
the date until about a week later.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The date<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">At 21:00 on a Saturday Isaiah whatsApped me to let me
know that he was outside my house. I was impressed because I told him to pick
me up at 21:00 and not to be late. I on the other hand wasn’t ready so I asked
him to give me 10 minutes. About 15 minutes later we got in his car and he
drove to the West End so we could find a restaurant to eat in. I insisted that
we should go to Vapiano because the food is nice there. I wasn’t quite sure how
to get there because I had only been there once before and my sense of
direction is not usually very good. Although he was hesitant about us going to
a place that neither of us knew how to get to I was able to convince him to trust
my instinct and we got there without taking a wrong turn. Tap on my shoulder!</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I recommended Carbonara to Isaiah and was going to get
the same thing as I had that the last time I was at Vapiano but he said I
shouldn’t, I should try something else so I got Scampi instead. Whilst eating
and laughing etc I found myself mimicking his body language. I immediately
tried to get myself out of the trance I was in because I personally think that
is just too much of an indication that I like him. Don’t get me wrong – I want
him to know that I like him but mimicking him shows that I really really like
him. I don’t think he caught on though. At least I hope he didn’t.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">After our meal we went to Tower Bridge because I mentioned
that we should head that direction for a really nice bar called Abbey. Like
Vapiano, I know where Abbey is, I have the image in my head but I don’t know
how to get there. I forgot to tell Isaiah this before we got to Tower Bridge,
so he just ended up parking on a side road so we could go to a place that we
saw whilst coming off the bridge. When we got there the set-up by the entrance
was the same as a club and we were told it’s £10 to get in. I was a bit
confused so I asked one of the guys at the door if it was a bar or a club and
he said it’s a club. I was ready to walk back out, but because Isaiah didn’t
want to go back in the rain he said we should just go in so I paid for both of
us.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">When we got upstairs it was clearly a club but not just
any club, it was one for middle age people. They were very welcoming and very willing
to mingle but the music weren’t to our taste and it was far from what we had in
mind. Isaiah bought us drinks so we could drink and talk but the music was just
too loud for us to have a conversation. To make things more interesting Isaiah
suggested that we should go to the bar and order drinks that we didn’t
recognise. We ordered a drink that we weren’t sure whether to drink as a shot
or a regular drink. Then Isaiah asked the bar man to be creative and make us
something of his choice. He did but Isaiah didn’t like it. I thought it was ok.
We went back down to where we previously sat and the alcohol started kicking in
for me and I started behaving like someone who had had one too many. I tried to
convince Isaiah to get up and dance with me but instead he said I sounded drunk
and he was going to take me home. He got up to use the loo before we left. By the
time he got back I was dancing with a lady who asked me to dance with her. He
must have thought this girl is a nutter. As soon as I saw him I said goodbye to
my dancing partner and he dropped me home. I got home at 2am.</span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I think the date was fun and even though it rained a lot
I wouldn’t change anything about it.</span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">That’s it for date 15 and an end to this era of just
going on dates just so I can blog about them. I want someone special in my life
now so make sure you check out my blog next weekend to find out what the new
era is all about. </span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I</span></o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> want to thank all my loyal readers for your continuous interest
in my challenge and thank you to everyone who’ve read my blog. I’m very happy with
the 4,228 pageviews that I’ve had to date.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Thanks for reading <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">My
dating year</i> – date 15.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<br /></div>Jayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14772972835576957742noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-340274933920585421.post-91044419149125190022012-07-08T16:53:00.000+01:002012-07-08T16:53:29.410+01:00Date 14 – Lazaro<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Welcome to date 14 of 26</span>
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Guy Profile</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Name: Lazaro</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Age: 29</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Height: 5.11</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Occupation: Online Service team leader</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">How I met Lazaro<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I met Lazaro on Plenty of fish.com (pof). He sent me what
I thought was a sweet and sincere message. I had to reply. His response again
was sincere, proving his first initial message wasn’t just a bait. We sent each
other messages over a few weeks on the site before Lazaro sent me his number and
asked me to drop him a line when I have the time. I sent him a text some days
after and we texted each other every so often until we decided to meet up. As
we work quite close to each other and in central London he suggested we should
meet at Covent Garden station at 6.10pm on a Friday evening for coffee.</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The date<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I got to Covent Garden station quite early because I
wanted to buy something from Marks & Spencer (M&S). I didn’t realise
M&S was so close to the station so I was done within 5 minutes and had to
wait in front of the station for about 25 minutes. At 6pm I received a message
from Lazaro saying: ‘I actually made it a bit early and I’m here’. I looked
around and I couldn’t see him so I sent him a message asking where and he
responded with: ‘In front of you... on the other side of the road’. For some
reason I felt like I was in a scary movie and someone was after me so I was a
little scared. I nervously looked ahead of me and I found him and walked over
to greet him.</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The first thing he said to me was: ‘you don’t have three
hands, why are you on pof? I have my own reason for being on there but you look
perfectly normal.’ Although he was trying to be nice, that comment made me
slightly worried. A part of me was dreading what he was going to say his reason
was for joining pof because if the reason was really off putting I wouldn’t
feel comfortable to continue and I would have to think of a very good reason to
end the date. When we found a restaurant to eat in, he told me that he is on
the site because he is a shy person. That was surprising to hear because he
didn’t come across that way to me prior to the date and on the date, so a part
of me did wonder if that was the real reason why he joined the site.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Whilst we were in the restaurant, Lazaro told me some
really interesting things about himself and he seemed really smart and full of
life. After our meal, we walked to Southbank but we didn’t stay for long because
I wanted to end the date for no particular reason. I think he picked up on
it too because he politely walked me to the bus stop. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">He seemed like a really nice
guy and I love the way he sees certain things. As he is also a photographer, who
loves taking pictures and attending exhibitions his way of viewing everyday
things and people is so different and refreshing. I wish a lot more people
could see the world the way he does. He makes what most people would consider
as insignificant or uncomfortable appear significant and comfortable.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">He also had a slightly vulnerable but cute side to him
which alone makes me feel I should treat him with utmost respect and courtesy.
He said things like I tried not to send you too many messages because I didn’t
want you to feel pestered. Interestingly prior to our date, some days
beforehand he had sent me a message asking me how my day was and if I had done
anything exciting. I mentioned that I had gone to church and bought some items
for my car and I didn’t hear back from him for some days, so I jumped to the
conclusion that he didn’t respond because I mentioned that I’m a Christian. I
was disappointed that he would discriminate against me for that reason and I
spoke to some friends about it and one of them suggested that I should text him.
I quickly responded with: ‘no way, if he is going to stop talking to me because
of my faith then he is not worth my time’. The curious side of me wanted to
know if he did stop talking to me for that reason so I sent him a text, asking
how his week had gone and to my surprise he responded and asked if I had any
plans for the weekend and that’s when we made plans to meet up. </span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">This experience has taught me that it’s not good to jump
into conclusions and act stubborn when dating because such attitudes can cause
you to ruin the chance of meeting amazing people. Had I not text Lazaro I may
not have met up with him and even if he had tried to get in touch, I probably
would have read his messages the wrong way and found unintended meanings in
them because I believed at the time that he had a problem with my faith.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">To conclude, I’m happy that I met up with Lazaro but I
don’t fancy him so there wouldn’t be a second date. I would love to be his
friend if he is happy to be friends with me because I love his outlook on the
world and his intelligence.</span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">That’s it for date 14.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Thanks for reading <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">My
dating year</i> – date 14.</span></div>Jayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14772972835576957742noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-340274933920585421.post-25700437422631013102012-06-22T21:50:00.000+01:002012-06-28T20:10:28.401+01:00Date 13 - ?<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Welcome to date 13 of 26</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Guy Profile</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Name: ?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Age: 28</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Height: 6.2</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Occupation: Carer </span><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">How I met ?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I met ? on Plenty of fish.com (pof). He sent me a lazy
message which I believed and he confirmed he sent to a number of girls in hope
of receiving messages back from some. I don’t usually respond to people who can’t
even be bothered to make some effort with the message that they send and I didn’t
want to respond but I had a look at his profile and I liked what I saw. I was
also curious to learn more about him because he sounded as though he was new in
town, so I sent him a message asking him how long he’s been in London and as I
thought he has only been here for 6 months.</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">In the third message that he sent me he included his
contact details. I went for the option of adding him to my blackberry messenger
(bbm) contact rather than whats App, so he won’t have my number until I was
ready to give it to him. We communicated quite a lot over the first few days
and I was really looking forward to meeting him. As this week was very busy for
me at work we agreed to meet at the end of the week. The plan was to meet at
Starbucks because he said he didn’t have much money at the moment because he’s
trying to find his own place so he can move out of his cousin’s. Honestly I
didn’t mind going to Starbucks because I felt as though I was starting to like
him because he just seemed like such a nice match for me on paper so I was very
understanding of his situation; as I am when I like a guy. I’m not so tolerant
and understanding with guys that I don’t like.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">A few days before we met, it started getting hard to get
through to him. It didn’t take more than a day for him to respond to my
messages but the conversation wasn’t flowing fluently anymore and even to set
the time and actual location to meet felt like a chore rather than something
exciting that both party wanted to participate in. When I messaged him last to
finalise what we were doing, I felt like I was in that mood that some people get
in when they have to do something with someone that’s pissing them off. The
tone of my message, I felt was almost as though I was saying: here’s the
details, it’s up to you when you read it just stop wasting my time, kmt.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The date<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">As you’ve probably already gathered there was no date. Mr
? messaged me a few hours before the assigned time of the date to say he had
made other plans for that same time and I shouldn’t be angry with him and we
should reschedule. I called him. His phone went to voicemail and I left a
message and I haven’t received a reply. I pinged him. He saw my ping and
changed his display picture on bbm and didn’t respond. I sent a final message
saying ‘I take it you don’t want to meet anymore’. As far as I’m concerned I’ve
done the best I can. I hate when people make me feel as though I’m bothering
them. If not for my blog I wouldn’t have been as bothered to get in touch with
him. I’m so pissed that he left it to the last minute. That doesn’t give me
enough time to find a replacement date. What a time waster, KMTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">As I don’t really know this guy, I can’t really give him
a piece of my mind and he also doesn’t know about my blog so he wouldn’t
understand my aggressive reaction to him cancelling the date. Rationally,
sometimes things happen and people have to cancel plans that they’ve made or in
this dating situation he probably just didn’t like me; which is one of the
expected possibilities. The irrational side of me that cares very much about my
blog is not so understanding right now and it wishes I could give this guy a
piece of my mind without sounding crazy. Unreliable people really piss me off.
I’ve vented enough now and I’m going to continue my dating journey and not let
this situation affect the dates to come.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">That’s it for date 13.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Thanks for reading <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">My
dating year</i> – date 13</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<br /></div>Jayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14772972835576957742noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-340274933920585421.post-8411567279609078762012-06-08T21:32:00.000+01:002012-06-08T21:32:00.402+01:00Date 12 – John<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Welcome to date 12 of 26</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Guy Profile</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Name: John</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Age: 28</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Height:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>5.8<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">½</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Occupation: Store Operations</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Location of date: Stratford, London<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">How I met
John<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">My regular readers will know that I have been on a date with John
in the past. New readers please refer to Date 2 to find out how I met John and
how our first date went.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">If you’ve read date 2 you may find it surprising to read
of a second date with John. I am too. I had no intention of seeing him again.
As for my blog, I wanted to keep second dates to an absolute minimum. My plan
was to go a second date with Curtis to honour the vote that some of you made. I
had even spoken to Curtis about meeting up with him this week. We just hadn’t
set a date.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">After date 2<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Since the last date with John, we haven’t really kept in
touch much. He tried to keep the communication going after the first date but I
wasn’t responsive. He took the hint and stopped contacting me soon after. From
time to time he would send me a message to check up on me but the messages have
always been brief as I never encouraged him to take it further.</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Initiation of the
date<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">During the Queen’s Jubilee John sent me a message on
blackberry messenger (bbm). He mentioned that he was bored and hated staying
in. I suggested that he should go out with some friends and he said he didn’t
want to go raving (clubbing – for those of you who aren’t familiar with the
term raving), so I told him to go bowling. ‘Yeah, I should, that sounds like a
great idea’ was the reply I was waiting to read or ‘I’m not sure, I don’t
really like bowling’. Instead, he said: ‘ha ha ok let’s go bowling’. I looked
at the message and I thought to myself: ‘don’t be hasty, think about this; what
will I gain from saying no and what will I lose from saying yes’. He hadn’t
asked me to marry him, he just asked me to go bowling with him. So my reply was
‘when?’ </span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I thought I would regret my decision after but I didn’t. As
ruthless as I think I come across through these blogs, I can’t help but like
some of these guys as people. I wish it was easy to say I’m not really
interested in you romantically but I would like to pursue a friendship with
you. It would be great if the ones with kind hearts could consider me as a
friend and genuinely treat me as one, without ever wanting anything more. I
think the reason why I didn’t regret my decision was because I viewed John as
an individual with good qualities and a potentially nice person to be around, as
opposed to a guy who is taking me out because he wants to try and get into a relationship
with me and will therefore display a persona that he thinks I’ll like, but very
different from who he really is.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The date<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I got to Stratford 5 minutes early and had to shop around
whilst I waited for John. 15 minutes later the guy I didn’t think I’d see again
walked towards me and gave me a hug, before introducing a couple to me as his
friends. I was really happy to see the couple. I thought: ‘great more people to
bowl’ because I think it’s quite weird for just 2 people to bowl. Unluckily for
me they had their own plans; which was not bowling.</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">When we got to the place to bowl, we were told that there
was a 45 minutes wait, so we went to the bar inside and waited. John asked me
what I’d like to drink and I said strawberry daiquiri and chips on the side
please. I was so hungry, I ate the chips and finished the drink before he could
turn around and say: ‘how you doing?’ Being a gentleman, he asked me if I would
like seconds and I said yes, but I was much slower this time round and he had
to wait for me for about 5 minutes before we could go ahead and bowl.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">At the beginning of the game John was quite bad at
bowling and I was doing pretty good. By the third go, he had gotten the hang of
it and he just kept on getting strike after strike. He was a good winner though,
I must say. He didn’t show off at all, instead he tried to teach me to bowl in
the same way as him, so I could get strikes too but the method just didn’t work
for me. As it was just 2 of us playing, the game finished quickly and we left
there to go to Nando’s because I didn’t like where he initially wanted us to
eat. It was a dead pub that smelt stale. </span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I had a free full chicken token from my loyalty card that
we could use providing we spent a certain amount, so I was excited to eat at
Nando’s. Unlike my first date with John, the conversation flowed well. We were more
interested in what each other had to say and I smiled and laughed more. After
eating what I was able to fit in my stomach, I asked for a doggy bag to store
the leftovers and we left. I persuaded John to let me drive his car. He went
somewhere quiet and gave me the keys. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It
meant a lot that he trusted me enough to do so, knowing full well that I didn’t
have a license. He was so calm when I made silly mistakes like comfortably
driving on the wrong side of the road and getting too close to another driver,
who as John said wasn’t very happy with my invasion of his car space.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">After date
thoughts<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">This date really surprised me. I didn’t think I could
have fun with John and I did. The biggest thing that I would say I got from it
is not to quickly disregard anyone before really getting to know him/her. Just
because a person doesn’t tick your box at first, it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t
give them a chance, as things may change and your feeling for them could too.
Having said that, I don’t think I could take this advice. There are qualities
that I’d like in the guy for me and if I compromise on too many of the qualities
I feel as though I am not being true to myself and therefore disregarding
myself. </span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Am I being unrealistic or just plain hard headed? </span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Readers please let me know what you think.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Thanks for reading <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">My
dating year</i> – date 12.</span></div>Jayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14772972835576957742noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-340274933920585421.post-56229959408066081282012-05-27T22:04:00.000+01:002012-05-27T22:04:01.061+01:00Date 11 – Ricky<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Welcome to date 11 of 26</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Guy Profile<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Name: Ricky</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Age: 27</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Height: 5.11</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Occupation: Something to do
with helping young people into employment </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Location of date: Surrey
Quays, London</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; tab-stops: 111.75pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">How I met Ricky<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I met Ricky on Plenty of Fish.com
(pof). I was looking for a last minute date for this week’s date because I didn’t
have enough time to arrange one after returning from the States. I didn’t want
to have to go on pof because I don’t really like the site but the 2 people I
had in mind for this week’s date weren’t available and my friend’s attempt to
get one of his friends to take me out didn’t look like it was going to
materialise either. </span><br />
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">On Thursday evening I
reactivated my pof account and received quite a lot of messages from hopefuls and
I started a few conversations with some but after an hour of being on the site
it didn’t look like I was getting anywhere so I logged out. Minutes later I
received a couple of messages and I logged back on to read them. Two of the
guys that sent me messages seemed quite decent so I spent some time
communicating with both of them and another guy who was telling me off for what
I wrote on my profile. He said I was contradicting myself because my Intent says:
I want to date but nothing serious and About me says:</span></div>
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span class="txtgrey1"><span style="color: windowtext;"></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span class="txtgrey1"><span style="color: windowtext;">I
understand that most people on this site are not looking for anything serious
so if you are only looking to get intimate please move on to the next profile.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; tab-stops: 111.75pt;">
<span class="txtgrey1"><span style="color: windowtext; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I
totally understand why he thinks my intent and About me is contradicting but I
also mean exactly what I wrote. I am only interested in dating and nothing
serious and I want those who are looking for something intimate to move on to
the next profile. I am not going to give myself away because I’m not looking
for something serious. It’s clear that not looking for something serious means
different things to different people. As this date is not about him I’m not
going to go into details about the unfriendly things that he wrote to me.
Readers please leave me a comment below if you are interested in the things he
said because I think they’ll make an interesting debate.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; tab-stops: 111.75pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span class="txtgrey1"><span style="color: windowtext; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Back
to Ricky, because I needed a date for Friday or Saturday I really didn’t waste
any time, so when Ricky wrote: ‘</span></span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">whats a pretty fish like you doing in
a sea like this?’ in the second message that he sent me. I replied with: ‘I'm
looking for a date for the weekend’ and his reply was: ‘Oh ok well im free tomo
nite do you have a blackberry?’.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I gave
him my blackberry pin and we communicated a little on that before he called me
and we had a very nice conversation. He had a lovely deep voice and a nice
sense of humour. I was very proud of myself for being able to get a date so
quick. I’m liking the new attitude.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; tab-stops: 111.75pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The
Date<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We had planned to meet at London
Bridge at 8pm but we didn’t plan what we were going to do. I guess it was only
right to continue the excitement by not planning to do anything in particular. Before
our date I spoke to Ricky and he asked if we can meet at 9pm instead because he
left work late. I didn’t give the best response but I tried to work with him.
Long story short I ended up meeting Ricky after 10pm at my local overhead train
station and we took a bus to Surrey Quays.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; tab-stops: 111.75pt;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">When we go to Surrey Quays I was
really in the mood for Pizza but unfortunately they were closing, so we went to
the next best thing, Frankie and Benny’s. Before we got to Surrey Quays I knew
Ricky wasn’t my type and I felt my energy drop when he came off the train because
he wasn’t my type. As he had made an effort and showed faith in me by coming to
meet me after just meeting me the day before online I didn’t want to disappoint
him and waste the night being less than happy, so I consciously brought my
energy back up.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; tab-stops: 111.75pt;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">As he knew of my regular dating but
not about my blog I didn’t feel the pressure of having to communicate with him
after the date as I’ve felt with most of my past date. It made me feel more at
ease and it felt real because I didn’t have to avoid saying anything and I
could really relax and enjoy the moment. He made me show him my ID just so he
could make sure I am the age I said I am. I tried not to get offended by it and
found it funny at the same time. He told me he had a dog and showed me some
pictures. When I told him I dislike dogs, he mentioned he shouldn’t have revealed
that to me yet. He spent most of the date trying to convince me that I’ll like
his dog and I spent just as much time telling him that I wouldn’t and I wouldn’t
even want to bump into him and his dog, not to talk about purposely going to
see him and his dog. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; tab-stops: 111.75pt;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I think Ricky knew I wasn’t into him
romantically and after I expressed my feelings about dogs I think any plans he
had of us progressing in his mind went out of the window too. I hope we can be
friends because I think we got on but there’s definitely no spark and I hope he
finds a nice girl that’s into dogs.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">That’s all for this week readers.
Please leave your comments or questions below and I’ll post a reply as soon as
I can.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; tab-stops: 111.75pt;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Thanks for reading <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">My dating year</i> – date 11.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>Jayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14772972835576957742noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-340274933920585421.post-24257274568971437802012-05-12T17:16:00.001+01:002012-05-12T17:16:26.841+01:00Date 10 – DominicWelcome to date 10 of 26<br />
<br />
<strong>Guy Profile</strong><br />
Name: Dominic<br />
Age: 26 <br />
Height: 5.11<br />
Occupation: Customer Service <br />
Location of date: Alexandra, Virginia, USA<br />
<br />
<strong>How I met Dominic</strong><br />
I was first made aware of Dominic by my friend who I went to Virginia to visit. I told her I needed to go on dates whilst in the US and she told me of Dominic and gave me his Facebook name to check him out. I had a look and thought he looked ok. I noticed he had a lot of tattoos, which I’m not a big fan of but I still wanted to meet him. <br />
<br />
On the very first day that I got to Virginia my friend made plans for one of her female friends, Dominic, herself and I to go to a bar/restaurant. We got there really early and had to wait for her friend and Dominic. Even though I wanted to meet Dominic I was so tired from being up for so many hours that all I cared about at that point was going home to sleep. Unluckily for me that wasn’t an option. My friend’s mentality is that you are not meant to sleep when on vacation. You are meant to have fun fun fun. <br />
<br />
When Dominic arrived he looked how I thought he would and he seemed to be quite happy with how I look. He tried his best to make conversation with me even though I was so sleepy and gave me several compliments. As he was the last to get to the bar we waited for him to finish eating and drinking before we asked for the bill. My friend tried to get him to pay for everyone but he refused and they compromised on him paying the majority of the bill. He still weren’t happy and only agreed to do so if he could see me again. I told him we could go on a date and he paid. I could tell he didn’t mind paying for me but I don’t think he wanted to cover more than that.<br />
<br /><strong>The Date</strong><br />
Two days after I met Dominic my friend dropped me at a local cinema to see: Think like a man with Dominic because he had agreed to see it with me for the second time after telling me that I was basically a real life version of one of the characters. When I was at his house the previous day, he asked me why I was still single and I told him: ‘it’s because I’m really picky. I have a long list of likes and dislikes about guys’. After running through the list, he realised that he didn’t tick all of the boxes and told me I need to go to ToysRUs to find my guy because what I want is not real.<br />
<br />
As we approached the cinema I opened the first door to walk in and was stopped in my tracks: ‘why can’t you let me be the man and open the doors’. I walked back and closed the door and allowed Dominic to reopen it. Nobody has ever told me off for doing so before. I usually don’t wait for guys to open doors for me. When they do I usually think it’s nice of them but when they don’t I don’t think any less of them. Once we got through the doors to approach the ticket queue he started moaning about having to pay my friend $30 for dropping me off and to pick me up after the movie. He was especially irritated because he knew she’ll charge him for every time that she drops me anywhere to see him. He was more than happy to cover her gas fee (as they call it in US) but he didn’t want to pay near as much as he would if I took a taxi and as they are friends he was expecting her to be more understanding and not make him feel worse for not being able to pick me up because of his ban that prevents him from driving his very nice car until October.<br />
<br />
In the movie theatre I felt at ease with Dominic. He was such a gentleman about everything and he really tried his hardest to make me feel comfortable. When it was time to go home I experienced something that I hadn’t experienced before. I had difficulty going downstairs on the escalator. It looked narrow and very long. I felt like I would miss a step because of my heels and fall over and was too scared to get on it for that reason. I made several attempts after Dominic’s encouragement but I just couldn’t get myself to go down. In an attempt to get me to take the escalator Dominic took it down to show me it was safe and I’d be ok and ran up the escalator going up to meet me so he could go down with me but I still couldn’t do it and we had to take the elevator. It was so sweet of him to run up the escalator knowing how stupid he looked in the process. <br />
<br />
When we got to his apartment I went up with him before going back to my friend’s because he had asked me to. I gave him a hug and the side of my face for a kiss. He asked to kiss me on the lips, I said no and smiled walking away saying goodbye. If he and my friend didn’t have work the next day I would have asked her to come up so we could stay at his for a while before heading home. <br />
<br />
Since we met on the first day we’ve kept in touch everyday and seen each other quite a lot and have plans to see each other some more before I return home. Meeting Dominic has been one of the best things about my holiday. I feel like I’m having a holiday romance and I wouldn’t change anything about it so far. Not even his ban that prevents him from driving because I’m impressed by the effort that he has made to see me because of it and he’s also impressed that I want to spend time with him when I could spend time with other guys who are not as restricted as him.<br />
<br />
That’s all for date 10 readers. Please leave your comments and questions below and I will respond as soon as possible even though I’m still on holiday.<br />
<br />
Thanks for reading <em>My dating Year</em> – date 10.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Jayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14772972835576957742noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-340274933920585421.post-78121996245413177612012-04-29T19:12:00.000+01:002012-04-29T21:27:32.430+01:00Date 9 – Austin<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Welcome to date 9 of 26</span></div>
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Guy Profile<o:p></o:p></span></b><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Name: Austin</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Age: 27</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Height: 6.00</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Occupation: Personal Trainer</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Location of date: London Bridge/Tower Bridge, London</span><br />
<br />
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">How I met Austin<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I met Austin on plenty of fish.com (POF), a free dating
site. We got to know each other through messages and the instant chat feature
on the site before becoming friends on facebook. Anyone who has used POF knows
that it is not a serious site to look for genuine love.</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I first went on the site last summer when a friend sent
me a message telling me to join the site. As the site is free I thought I had
nothing to lose so I joined and a lot of guys showed interest in me right away;
which was very flattering but after a while the messages all become so similar
that it wasn’t pleasing anymore. I met a guy who I thought I may be interested in
even though he was below my height preference. He seemed nice and looked decent
so I thought I’d give him a chance. We went on a date and the date was great
and I thought things would go uphill from there. Unfortunately I was wrong as
he was a rare species who lacked common courtesy and stood me up on what was
supposed to be our second date and never gave me an explanation, instead he
almost blamed me for his odious behaviour. </span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">After that hideous experience I gave POF another chance
but was fed up after some weeks and hid my profile because I was unable to
delete my account and I continued to receive the weekly messages that are sent
to all POF members.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">I</span>n February when I was in need of more ways to meet guys
for this blog I made my profile visible again, but because of my previous
experience my profile status was not as friendly as when I first joined so I
didn’t get as much messages as before, but I still received an average of 3
messages a day. I just weren’t attracted to the majority of the guys who sent
me messages. There were a few that I thought were attractive but this time
round I was sceptical so whenever I got an impression that I didn’t like from
conversing with a guy I would simply cease from communicating further.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">When I received a message from Austin in early March I
thought I would read it like most of the messages that I receive and not reply
or just send a polite reply just to show that I have acknowledge his message
and leave it as that even if he replies, especially as his main profile picture
looked like a mug shot. Instead I read his message and I thought it was nice and I replied. I looked at his pictures and I thought ‘huum, actually
he is not bad looking and he doesn’t look like a criminal in the other pictures’.
When he replied back I was more than happy to go through the messaging process
with him until we became friends on facebook.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Before we became friends on facebook we spoke about going
on a date but after a while it didn’t seem like the plan would materialise but
I didn’t give up hope even though I knew he had gone on dates with other girls
from the site and knew that there was a high chance that he was still dating other
girls. I thought even if it takes months to go on a date with him I don’t mind.
I still had months before the end of my dating challenge so I could afford to
be on the back of his mind and not the forefront, so I just had menial chats with
him on facebook so he won’t forget about me.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The date<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Whilst we were having one of our regular menial chats,
rock climbing came up and we planned to do that as a first date. Our communication
level still didn’t increase and right until the day of the date I didn’t speak
to Austin on the phone, so I was a bit worried that he wouldn’t show up. To my surprise
he did even though he turned up about 10 minutes after me and he looked very
handsome. Me on the other hand, I had leggings and trainers on. I thought it
would be best to dress in what I was going to rock climb in and change to
something better after; which I had in my bag. I looked as cute as I could look
without heels on but I didn’t feel as good as I usually feel when on a date.</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">When we got to the rock climbing place we were told that
they couldn’t let us rock climb because we hadn’t done it before and we should
call in and book a session for beginners. To be honest I wasn’t disheartened
and Austin didn’t seem to mind either. I suggested we look for a bar instead
and took him on a detour of London Bridge and Tower Bridge in search of a nice
bar. Fortunately after about half an hour or more of walking we saw Abbey which
I knew was a good bar because I had been there before. To our surprise it was
very packed. I have never before seen so many people in a bar and I became
really hot quickly and asked to leave. We went to the next bar that looked good
and again it was full of people and was just too much for me to handle so we
left and we found another one which was quieter but not as nice as the other
two.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">We ordered some drinks and I took my trainers off and
wore my heels instead because that’s what I feel more comfortable in and he was
very keen to see me in heels too. We spoke for some time until I had to leave
to meet with my friend who was staying over at mine. Honestly nothing
spectacular happened on the date but I enjoyed getting lost with him and not
having a clear idea of where we were going. I felt like I could be myself with
him and most of all he had a sense of humour; which I really appreciate. He
behaved like a big kid at times but I thought it was cute and when we were at
the bus stop waiting for my bus, he kept lifting me up like a kid every
time we went to hug and I kept telling him to put me down. I thought that was
cute too and on my way home I felt like singing and dancing because I actually
really liked being with him and I felt how I use to feel after seeing a guy I
like when I was in my mid teens.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I really hope to see him again but I feel that because
most of the guys that I’ve been on dates with liked me and I didn’t feel the
same way Karma might just kick in and he won’t like me as much as I like him.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">That’s all for this week folks. Please leave questions and
comments below and I will respond as soon as I can.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Thanks for reading <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">My
dating year</i> – Date 9!</span>Jayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14772972835576957742noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-340274933920585421.post-65612901183352339732012-04-13T19:51:00.001+01:002012-04-13T22:56:18.470+01:00Date 8 – Eric<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Welcome to date 8 of 26</span><br />
<br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Guy Profile<o:p></o:p></span></b><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Name: Eric</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Age: 34</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Height: 6:00</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Occupation: Accounts Administrator </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Location of date: Wildwood, Canary Wharf, London</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">How I met Eric<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I first met Eric as I was leaving the Christmas party
that we had at work. To be honest when he called me I wanted to blank him and
pretend that I didn’t hear him calling me. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I decided not to because I was very new in my
role and I didn’t want to give people the wrong impression of myself before
they got to know me. When I went over to speak to him he seemed a little tipsy.
I told him my friend was waiting for me so I couldn’t chat for long. He said
he’d look for me on our work intranet and I said ok. I knew he would have difficulty
finding me as my name is quite unique and he didn’t write it down.</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The following month whilst we were having an event in a
part of the building that’s close to his office, he walked pass and saw me and
came over to speak to me. I thought he looked quite different from what I had
remembered but he looked ok. Whilst we were speaking I had to attend to a
visitor so the conversation ended there and he left. Later in the day I saw him
again but this time I noticed that he had quite a lot of grey hair. It’s was a
bit off putting if I’m honest.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Later in the week my manager told me that I had a call
from someone, who refused to leave their name and said they’ll call back. I
asked my manager a few question like was it a guy to try and figure out if it
was Eric because I had a feeling it was. She gave me the answers that I was
expecting and even showed me a picture of who she thought it was and it was
Eric in the picture.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Communication
duration before talks of date<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">After the initial call that I missed, Eric sent me an
email and I asked him if he would like to meet up for lunch. From the beginning
of February until March we met up for lunch several times and we even made
plans to go on a date but he cancelled on me because his daughter was ill. I
also asked him if he would like to attend a jazz show with me and again he
disappointed me and I went on my own. The show was very good by the way. I’m
glad I went.</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">After the two let downs I had pretty much given up hope
in Eric, so I was quite surprised when he started showing an interest in me again
towards the end of March. There was one particular day that he really wanted to
see me but I told him I couldn’t leave work. As he finishes work half an hour
before me I thought it was best for us to see each other the following day. The
next day we met up for lunch. I tried to find out what he wanted to see me
urgently about and to my disappointment it was for ‘nothing in particular, I
just wanted to catch up with you’. When he said those words, I felt like saying
is that it? As the Easter holiday was the following week, he wanted to know what
I had planned and if I would have time for us to go on the date that we had
previously planned, that he couldn’t make. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i>I told him that I didn’t have any concrete
plans and he should let me know when he’d like to meet up a few days beforehand.
</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">On the last day of the holiday, I saw a missed call from
Eric and gave him a call back. He asked me if I was busy and if I would like to
go on the date with him that very day. As my plans were flexible I said yes and
we made the plans over several phone calls.</span></div>
<br />
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The Date<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I arrived one minute early to the front of Canary Wharf
station (our meeting point) and gave Eric a call. Like a true gentleman he was
already there but not right in front of the station. I spotted him within a few
seconds and we walked towards each other and hugged and went towards the
direction of one of the shopping centres at Canary Wharf.</span><br />
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">We had to walk around Canary Wharf several times to find
a place that I wanted to eat at because he left me to decide where we should
eat. I chose the only restaurant that didn’t have anyone else in it because I
didn’t want to eat in a mainstream restaurant, even though the mainstream ones
had customers in them therefore indicating that their food is most likely
better than the one I picked. As it was just over an hour pass lunch time the
emptiness of most of the restaurants was expected and Wildwood suffered the
most simply because it isn’t as well known as the other competing restaurants. </span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The meal was good and Eric was good company too but because
I had met up with him for lunch several times before, the date didn’t feel
special. He asked if we could do something else another time. I said yes. We
decided on rock climbing because we want to do something interesting. The date
finished around 5pm because I wanted to see some friends who work in the area.
Eric would have liked us to do something else after having lunch but as I
didn’t think he would want to spend so much time with me I had planned to see
my friends whilst in the area and kill two birds with one stone.</span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I’m writing this blog two days after the date and I can’t
really remember what we spoke about. I just know that I don’t really have
romantic feelings for Eric. Maybe the feelings could develop over time as he
has some of the qualities that I look for in a guy: He is tall, within the age
group that I prefer, ambitious, he has his own place and seems to be a nice
person, who I can actually learn a lot from. Having said all that there is a
big BUT, he has a little daughter between 3 and 5. I can’t remember her precise
age and he broke up with the mum less than a year ago and the daughter lives
with him. There is something about this equation that doesn’t add up to me and
at the same time it’s not really an equation that I’m motivated to work out. My
head says I should give him a chance but my heart doesn’t feel a thing for him.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I’m going to go on a second date with him because I
promised but I don’t have any feelings for him (sigh).</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">That’s all for this week readers. Please leave your
questions or comments below and I will respond as soon as possible.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Thanks for reading <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">My
dating year</i> – Date 8!</span></div>Jayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14772972835576957742noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-340274933920585421.post-13076996728527575362012-03-31T18:35:00.000+01:002012-07-22T09:55:05.683+01:00Date 7 – Ricardo<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Welcome to date 7 of 26</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><strong>Guy Profile </strong></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Name: Ricardo</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Age: 23</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Height: 5.10</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Occupation: Sales Assistant</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Location of date: Leicester Square, London</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Date: 28/03/2012</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Readers please refer to date 3 to find out how I met Ricardo.</span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">As for those of you who have already read date 3, you may want to refer back to it to remind yourself of who Ricardo is and how our first date went.</span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><strong>Why a second date?</strong></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Some of you may be wondering why I went on a second date with Ricardo when the vote was for a second date with Curtis. If you are I’m glad because it shows you are paying attention to my dating life, lol. On a serious note – I decided to go on a second date with Ricardo because honestly, I felt bad, for the way I had treated him and I felt like the least I could do was to see him again.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Since date 1 I have communicated sporadically with Ricardo and right until last week I didn’t feel a way about doing so. That’s the way I have pretty much treated the other guys that I’ve been on dates with; the ones that I still keep in touch with anyway. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Whilst writing this I can’t help but hold back slightly and sigh because I feel bad thinking about my actions. Ricardo opened up to me and expressed his confusion about my actions after our date. He thought we had a good time and doesn’t understand why I wouldn’t want to keep in touch and want to get to know him some more.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I have to say readers, when he expressed those words to me, in his own words of course, I felt like I was kicked into reality and I felt the need to make up for my bad behaviour. I sent him a message a day or two later asking him if he was busy and unfortunately he was not in London. When he asked why, I told him: ‘I asked because I wanted to check if you would like to see a movie with me’. His response was one of frustration because every time he wanted to see me beforehand I was busy or too tired, according to him, and when I was prepared to see him he wasn’t in London. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Just like any guy who likes a girl, when he got back to London he got in touch and he made plans with me to go to the cinema and he agreed to see a movie that I wanted to see, that he wasn’t entirely interested in. The movie was: The Best Exotic Marigold hotel. The movie theatre by the way was full of OAP's (old age pensioners). A colleague of mine and I joked about the theatre being full of OAP’s because the film is about OAP’s but I didn’t really think that would be the case. To our surprise it was and Ricardo and I were the youngest people in there. It didn’t put me off but I thought it was funny to see so many OAP’s in the theatre, it’s not something I’m used to but non-the-less it didn’t affect my viewing of the film and I thought the film was good. The courage that the hotel owner in the film showed was very admirable and I liked the moral of the film.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Film review to the side, whilst watching the film Ricardo did the classical yawn stretch, where a guy stretches in the cinema and tries to put his arm around the girl that he is with. Unluckily for him my head did not allow the arm to go any lower and I shoved his arm off with my head. About 15 minutes later, he tried to lean in for a kiss and I quickly moved my body away and asked him: ‘what are you doing?’ He didn’t answer thankfully. At this point I felt awkward. Awkward because I know my response to him leaning in for a kiss can be embarrassing for a guy and also because I thought it might make things uncomfortable. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">After the movie things were ok and it was as if the attempt for a kiss never even happened, phew. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">As our date was on Wednesday we both headed towards the direction of home because it was getting late and we both had work the next day. On the way to my bus stop he mentioned that we should go to the theatre next and see Wicked or one of those very popular theatre plays. I went along with the conversation and gave him the impression that yeah we should, but I felt really bad because I could see that in his mind it’s only natural that we meet again because we are getting on well and apart from the fact that I’m not always easy to contact and the fact that I seem to always be busy or tired everything is going well and we are heading in the direction that couples go in before officially getting into a relationship.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Ricardo is a very nice guy and he has a lot going for him but I don’t have any romantic feelings towards him at all. I would love to be his friend but I don’t think he would like that. I think it’s best that I don’t see him anymore. I just need to pluck up the courage and let him know that I don’t feel the way I should feel for him and it’s not fair on him if I continue seeing him.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">I</span>t is my understanding that in North America it is common practice to date different guys at the same time but in the UK that isn’t the case. Is it right to date more than one guy in search of finding the right guy , especially as I don’t get intimate with any of them? Or am I being a player and blog or no blog, is what I’m doing just completely wrong, especially as I may hurt people like Ricardo along the way?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Readers I want your opinions. I really do feel bad about potentially hurting Ricardo and I’m really evaluating whether I should continue this challenge or not.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Please be honest and let me know what you think.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Thanks for reading <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">My dating Year</i> – Date 7</span></div>Jayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14772972835576957742noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-340274933920585421.post-62285787207429329792012-03-18T21:11:00.001+00:002012-03-18T21:23:43.762+00:00Date 6 – Curtis<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Welcome to date 6 of 26!</span></div>
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Guy Profile<o:p></o:p></span></b><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Name: Curtis</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Age: 24</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Height: 6.2</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Occupation: Music Producer/ Product Design Student</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Location of date: London Bridge, London</span><br />
<br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">How I met Curtis<o:p></o:p></span></b><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The same friend that introduced me to Ricardo told me
that she had another guy that I might be interested in. She described him as
talkative and nerdy looking because he wears glasses. I didn’t mind because 26
dates is a lot of dates so I can’t afford to be picky.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">From what I gathered from what my friend told me and
Curtis himself, my friend’s ex, who is close friends with Curtis told Curtis
that I like him and gave him my name to search for me on facebook. When he
found me on facebook after several different attempts at spelling my name
because he was given the wrong spelling, he added me and also asked my friend
for my blackberry messenger (bbm) pin and he added me on bbm too.</span><br />
<br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Communication
duration before talks of date<o:p></o:p></span></b><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">After I had confirmed his request on bbm and facebook we
pinged (ping is a term used for sending messages on bbm) each other that very day
and the following days. Our conversation was flowing quite well on bbm so I
mentioned he should call me so that we can speak properly. After sending him
the message stating that he should call me, I patiently waited by my phone for
his call for about 5 minutes and then I thought: ‘oh, this boy does not have my
number’. Even though we had only been communicating for 2 days on bbm, I felt
very much like I knew him already and felt as though he had my number.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I sent Curtis my number and he called me pretty much
right away. I told him how I assumed he already had my number and my waiting by
the phone for his call. It was a nice ice breaker even though we didn’t need
one because as I said it felt like we had known each other for some time. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When he called me I was about 7mins away from
finishing an episode of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Take Me Out</i>
online. Instead of being a nice attentive person I decided to multi task and
I tried to finish the episode whilst talking to Curtis on the phone for the
first time. (Aside – I wouldn’t advise this at all because not only will you
sound as though you are not completely interested in the conversation, it’s
also quite rude.) Even though I was being responsive on the phone, I could feel
that I didn’t sound completely interested and I told Curtis what I was
watching, how many minutes left of the show to go and apologised for watching
it whilst on the phone with him. Conveniently he said it’s fine, he had
something to do anyway and will call back.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I didn’t hear back from him that day. I pinged him the
next day and asked what happened as he didn’t call back. He apologised and
everything was all gravy. I believe that same day or maybe the next day he
asked me if I was busy, I said no and he asked if it was ok to call and I said
yes. He did and we had a very nice conversation and we conversed for over an
hour. After that we went back to communicating via bbm the days that followed.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Less than a week after we were first introduced, on a
Monday I asked him if he’d like to go for some drinks or a nice meal later in
the week. He said yes but will let me know when he’ll be available. 2 days later
and he still hadn’t mentioned anything about his availability. On the Thursday
of that week, during my lunch break, I sent him a ping asking him if he was
free on that day or Friday evening. He replied saying I’m free now. I was quite
puzzled because I didn’t understand how he could expect me to meet with him
around midday on a weekday when he knows I work during the week and I’m at work
at that time. Anyway I replied back saying I’m at work and he said he was busy
in the evening, so I asked him about the following evening and his reply was: ‘Not
100% sure. ( I must sound like a dick...)’. I told him he didn’t but he sounded
busy. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">At this point I could have easily thought this guy is not
interested in seeing me but because of my dating marathon I don’t think those
types of thoughts. I probably would have if I wasn’t doing this marathon. I
find that I don’t get offended easily by guys turning me down. Hours later he
pinged me and asked if I was free at 20:30 that day and if I could meet him at
Waterloo. I didn’t have any plans that evening so I quickly responded and it
was a planned date.</span><br />
<br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The Date<o:p></o:p></span></b><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I arrived at Waterloo around the time that we had agreed
to meet and waited in McDonalds for Curtis to find me. About 5 minutes later he
called me and before I knew it I saw him walking towards me. He looked just
like his facebook pictures so I wasn’t disappointed by what I saw. Even though
my friend had described him as nerdy, I didn’t see that. I thought his glasses
made him look intelligent and I think he is facially attractive but is on the
thin side.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Before I got to Waterloo, Curtis had told me that we’ll
be in a bar with two guys that he was having a meeting with for about 20
minutes so I had expected to be in the midst of 2 other guys at the beginning
of the date. When Curtis got closer to me we said hi and he apologised for the
fact that we were going to have 2 people with us. Out of nowhere somebody else
appeared and started apologising to me for taking Curtis’s time and said we
were going to go over to London Bridge and meet 2 of <a href="http://www.labrinthofficial.com/gb/home" target="_blank">Labrinth's</a> </span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">sisters who are
up and coming artists because they are interested in meeting Curtis as they
could possibly work with him in the future. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">We went to a bar/restaurant in London Bridge. Labrinth’s
sisters and a Graphic Designer joined us there. The guy that Curtis came with
to Waterloo introduced everyone and we all spoke and one of the sisters and the
Graphic Designer had a meeting. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After
about 30 minutes Curtis and I went upstairs to the restaurant. We ordered food
and got to know each other. The conversation went well and before we knew it
the restaurant staff turned off the music that was playing, they made the
lights brighter, they started packing away around us and putting up chairs. The
two other people that were still in the restaurant got up to leave, leaving just
us. We took the cue from there and got ready and left there to look for
somewhere else to go. As it was Thursday, the only place that was still open
around 23:30 was ALL BAR ONE. After about 15 minutes of being in there they
also stopped playing music and made the lights brighter, luckily for us this
time there were still a lot of people left in the bar, so we were able to stay
in there for another 20-30 minutes before they started telling people to leave.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">As it was just past midnight I was getting tired and I
don’t think there was anywhere else to go, so Curtis walked me to the bus stop
and waited for my bus. When the bus came we hugged and parted.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I didn’t have butterflies in my stomach but I thought the
date went well and I wouldn’t mind seeing Curtis again.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><strong>Readers I want your opinions. Even though I said I would
avoid going on second dates with the guys that I’ve already been on a date with
in my intro blog, do you think I should go a second date with Curtis?</strong></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Please say ‘you should’ if you would like to read about a
second date with him, even though it may not be date 7 and say ‘you shouldn’t’
if you don’t care to read about Curtis a second time. If I get 5 ‘you should’
and if it is more than ‘you shouldn’t’ I will go on a second date with Curtis
and blog about it.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">You don’t need to be registered on blogger or have a Google
account to vote. I have made the comments open so all you need to do is click
comment below, add comment, type in: ‘you should’ or ‘you shouldn’t’ and click
publish. You don’t even have to leave your name.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">That’s all for this week, please feel free to leave
additional comments below or questions if there’s anything that you’d like to
know that I didn’t mention.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Thanks for reading <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">My
dating year</i>!</span><br />
<br />
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<br /></div>Jayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14772972835576957742noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-340274933920585421.post-625327355625879692012-03-06T23:13:00.000+00:002013-04-10T21:46:00.423+01:00Date 5 - Mo<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Welcome to date 5 of 26</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><strong>Guy Profile</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Name: Mo</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Age: 24</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Height: 5:10</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Occupation: Engineering student/ Tour guide</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Location of date: Marrakesh, Morocco</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Date: 04/03/2012</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><strong>How I met Mo</strong></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I met Mo on a road not far from the hotel that my friends
and I were staying in Marrakesh. On one sunny afternoon my friends and I
decided to get some bottled water from the store that we were told was just
behind our hotel; instead of the journey to take about 15 minutes max we found
ourselves walking back to our hotel almost an hour later with no bottled water
because we were given conflicting directions by the locals, who I believe did
not understand what we were looking for. As we were walking back to our hotel,
I saw a young Moroccan guy, who looked friendly and approachable, so I decided
to try once more to get the correct direction to the store. Unluckily for me he
spoke very little English and could not make a sentence in English. As my
French was just as bad I called my friend over because her French was a little better
than mine and with sign language we were able to explain what we were looking
for to the guy, whose name is Mo, and he kindly took us to the store.</span><br />
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">After we finished buying the bottled water and a few
other things, we thanked Mo and as we were about to turn to make the journey
back to our hotel, Mo turned to me and showed me a leaflet that had an
excursion on it and asked me if I wanted to go to it with him. I looked at the
leaflet and told him that I couldn’t go anywhere without my friends and
therefore couldn’t go with him. As I was about to turn to catch up with my
friends who had walked ahead to let Mo speak to me alone, he stopped me and
told me that I could bring my friends along with me. In delight I called my
friends and told them what Mo had said and they too excitedly accepted the
offer and we agreed to meet Mo in front of our hotel at 8pm that evening.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><strong>The Date</strong></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">At 8pm sharp, Mo arrived with the bus driver and an English
couple who were going on the excursion with us. On our way there Mo and I didn’t
speak much because I sat at the back of the bus with my friends. When we got to
our destination Mo pretty much left me with my friends to allow us to enjoy
what was on offer and I got really involved with the Moroccan people who were
playing drums and singing and dancing on our arrival. After we had eaten and
danced with the Moroccans, everyone who was on the excursion sat down around a
big showground. I sat in between my friends and Mo. The show was really good
and we all laughed, clapped and displayed all of the variation of emotions
often seen at outdoor shows. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">At the end of the show Mo and I walked together towards
our tour bus and left my friends behind to take pictures. Whilst we were
walking Mo and I tried to get to know each other by asking each other questions.
After a couple of questions we struggled to communicate any further because he
didn’t understand me, I didn’t understand him and we were both unable to convey
what we were trying to say to one another. After a few unsuccessful attempts to
continue communicating we gave up quizzing each other and just walked. Mo
decided to put his hand around me because I think I must have looked like I
was cold. As we walked I felt his hand move lower behind me. For a few seconds
I was wondering what he was doing but thought he was just looking for a comfortable
position to put his hand, so I didn’t say anything and kept on walking. As we
continued to walk the hand just kept on going lower and lower. As it was just
about to land on my bum I turned round and said: ‘I’m going to find my friends’.
I didn’t care if he understood what I said or not. He made me feel really
uncomfortable by doing that and I didn’t want to be next to him anymore.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I made sure I didn’t show that I was upset by what he did
because I didn’t want to cause a scene and I would have just ended up
frustrating myself if I had approached him to tell him of my disappointment because
he may not have understood me. On the way home I sat with my friends again and
didn’t say a word to him. When we got to our hotel he gave me a sheet
containing his number, email address and facebook name and asked me to add him
on facebook. I took the sheet and thanked him for the day and went up to our
hotel room.</span><br />
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</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">After the disappointing move that he made, I can whole
heartedly say I have no intention of contacting Mo or being friends with him on
facebook. I think what he did was totally unacceptable and he ruined the good
thoughts that I initially had of him. Even though we both knew that nothing was
going to come of our date, he could have at least remained a gentleman and then
maybe we could have become facebook friends. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I guess I can’t expect all of the guys that I go on a
date with to be decent human beings. I’m back in London now and I hope date 6
will be more respectable and promising.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">As always readers’ thanks for reading date 5, if I’ve
missed out anything please leave me a comment below.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Thanks for reading <em>My
dating year -</em> date 5.</span></div>
Jayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14772972835576957742noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-340274933920585421.post-21461356532436989462012-02-18T22:36:00.000+00:002012-02-18T22:36:03.220+00:00Date 4 - X<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Welcome to date 4 of 26!</span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Guy Profile<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Name: X</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Age: 22/23</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Height: Unknown</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Occupation: Unknown</span><br />
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">How I came to know
X<o:p></o:p></span></b><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">A male friend of mine spoke to a few of his friends about
my challenge and asked them if any of them would be interested in going on a
date with me and one of them said yes and in fact from what I was told he was
very interested because it’s not often that you get feedback after going on a
date.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">My friend sent me X’s number and asked me to call him. I
didn’t for a while because I was busy but I eventually did. When I called him the
conversation was awkward and brief. X said he was getting ready to go out and
he’ll call me the next day. A week later I still hadn’t heard from him, so I
got back in touch with my friend and asked him if X was still interested in going
on a date with me. The next morning I saw a missed call from X. He had called
me at 23:45, the night before. When I saw the time that he called I have to say
I wasn’t impressed. I didn’t know him well enough for him to call me at that
time. In fact I don’t even know the basic things about him that people tend to
know after meeting someone for the first time.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Even though I was disappointed I thought I’d give him the
benefit of the doubt and I called him that morning and unsurprisingly the phone
rang and went to voicemail. I sent him a text message that evening and asked
him if he was still interested in going on the date and called for the second
time that day and again I was greeted by the voicemail. At this point I had
given up on him. He sent me a message the next day apologising for missing my
calls and mentioned that he’ll get through to me later to arrange a suitable
time for us to go on the date. I replied and highlighted the times that I would
be available but also made it clear that I could make myself available on a
different day and time if needs be. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Since then I have not heard from him and I really do not
wish to anymore. At first when my friend sent me his number I was quite interested
in going on a date with X because I thought it was rather strange for a guy to
agree to go on a date with me after being told of my challenge, especially as
we didn’t know each other. When I found out his reason for wanting to do it I
actually felt quite happy that I could help him out by giving feedback on my
blog site. It reminded me of some of the reasons why I started blogging in the
first place and I was quite chuffed because I didn’t expect to be in a position
to help people out so early on.</span></div>
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<o:p></o:p><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Thoughts of X<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Honestly, I’m happy that X showed his true colours from
the start because I would have been upset if we had made plans to meet and he
didn’t turn up. It happened to me once before and I just couldn’t understand
why it happened because it was a second date with a guy that I had previously
been on a date with and our first date went very well. Even on the day that
this guy didn’t show up I was in communication with him whilst I was waiting
for him and he said he was on his way, so when the play that we were both meant
to be watching finished I was very confused as to why this guy didn’t show up.
Even till today I’m still confused. I gave him several chances to explain
himself, by the time I realised I wasn’t going to get one I just had to leave
him in the past.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Even though I’ve been late to the 3 previous dates, I
just couldn’t let somebody down by not showing up, especially if I know that
they are waiting for me. I just couldn’t do it. I think it’s one of the most
disrespectful things that you can do to anybody. If I don’t want to see
someone, I wouldn’t make plans to see them. I think the time spent making plans
is already a waste of my time if I don’t want to see the person.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Back to my thoughts of X, based on everything I’ve said above;
X is definitely not suitable for me. I can’t deal with liars, pretenders and indecisive
people irritate me. He may have a somewhat justifiable reason for behaving the
way he did but the way I see it making false promises in any circumstance, most
especially one where you do not have to is not plausible. If I ever meet him in
person there’s a high chance that I will have less respect for him than any
other stranger. Even if I meet him and he ticked a lot of my other boxes I know
I will not be attracted to him for sure because of how he has behaved. </span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">General thoughts/comments<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span>I want to say thank you to all of my dedicated readers. To
date I have more page views than I thought I would have. I appreciate the
comments on this site and those I get in person. And to my friend who said
going on a date with me whilst I’m doing this challenge is basically going on a
dead end date, that’s not true. If I go on a date with a guy and I find out
that I’m attracted to him I will make sure it progresses into something special
if the guy feels the same way about me. I know I may come across as cold and as
if my standard is too high but the truth of the matter is I can’t fall too
easily for guys if I’m going on 26 dates in the year; it will make it very hard
for me to continue this challenge.</div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span>As some of you may know I will be 23 in a couple of
months. When I stop to take in the fact that I’m still single and I look around
me at the type of guys that are still available and the ones that are taken I
get slightly worried because occasionally when I meet someone and I think: he
is definitely my type, 9/10 times the guy is taken or if he is not taken I
later on find out that he is actually not my type. My mum and the rest of my
family think it’s quite a serious issue that I’m still single and my mum would
like me to get married this year. I don’t think she has considered how
unrealistic that wish is but in my mummy’s eyes nothing is unattainable for her
eldest daughter.</div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span>Thank you for reading date 4 of 26, if I have left
anything out or if there’s anything that you’d like to know please leave me a
comment below.</div>
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Thanks for reading <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">My
dating year</i> – Date 4</div>
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<br /></div>Jayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14772972835576957742noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-340274933920585421.post-5808210368262313772012-02-05T18:07:00.000+00:002012-08-08T21:37:13.988+01:00Date 3 - Ricardo<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Welcome to date 3 of 26</span><br />
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Guy Profile<o:p></o:p></span></b><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Name: Ricardo</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Age: 22/23</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Height: 5.10/5.11</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Occupation: Sales Assistant</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Location of date: Browns, West India Quay, London</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Date: 03/02/2012</span><br />
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">How I met Ricardo<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I asked a friend of mine to introduce me to a single
friend of hers and Ricardo happened to be the guy that was single and
interested in me after seeing my picture.</span><br />
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Communication
duration before talks of date<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Ricardo and I communicated with one another sporadically
for about a month and even less the week before I went on date 2.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I suggested we go for a drink to make up for
not being very responsive for a period of time. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">T</span>rying to communicate with more than one guy at a time is
not easy at all. Luckily because of Blackberry messenger (bbm) I haven’t
mistakenly called anyone by the wrong name so far and because I’m still at the
beginning of this challenge I don’t have a lot of names to remember.</span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Pre-date thoughts
of Ricardo<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Most of my communication with Ricardo was through bbm so
I didn’t really know what his voice was like for a while. He seemed cool. At
the start I made an effort to keep his interest but because I had other things
to do in my life and John to communicate with I made less effort after about 2
weeks. As I didn’t speak to him on the phone until a week before our date it
was quite difficult for me to get a clear sense of what he is like as a
person.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I did however get the impression
that he was getting quite irritated by me at one point because he tried to
engage with me on bbm a few times and I didn’t respond or I just gave a few
words answers<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>so eventually he just
stopped making an effort.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">If I was in Ricardo’s shoes and a guy didn’t make an
effort to communicate with me I would either think that the guy is not into me
and try to leave him alone like Ricardo did or I would really question why he
was not making much of an effort to try to get to know me and probably approach
him to find out why. As I had not met Ricardo I think my inconsistent effort in
getting to know him is understandable but I felt bad before I met him because
he seemed like such a nice person that didn’t deserve to be played with.</span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Pre-date
arrangement<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Ricardo chose Browns at West India Quay because he likes
the restaurant. We arranged to meet outside of Canary Wharf underground station
at 8pm because that’s where he initially thought the restaurant was. </span><br />
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The Date<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">As usual the guy was on time and I was late. I just want
to say even though it seems like I have a habit of turning up late to dates,
I’m really not like that. It usually takes me 20-30 minutes to get to Canary
Wharf from my house. What I usually do is walk to my nearest underground
station and within a few minutes on the tube I’m there. On the day of the date
I decided to get a bus to my local underground station. Unluckily for me 20
minutes later I was still waiting for the bus when Ricardo called to tell me
he was at Canary Wharf station. I felt so bad when I had to tell him that I was
still near my house. I could tell from his voice that he was slightly pissed by
it but he was very nice about it and said he could wait for me or we could meet
at West India Quay. I asked him to wait there for me because I’m not very good
at finding places and I knew that if he didn’t wait there for me I would be even
later trying to find the restaurant.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">When I got off the phone with him I waited for another 5
minutes and the bus still did not arrive. The thought of having to walk to the
station after waiting so long in the cold almost brought tears to my eyes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had to swallow the pain and just walk to
the station because I just could not risk waiting another 20 minutes for the
bus when I knew Ricardo was waiting for me. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">As I walked towards Ricardo at about 20:30 all I could do
was smile and say sorry over and over again. I could
tell from the look on his face that because I seemed genuinely sorry, which I
was any negative feeling that he had because of my lateness went away
immediately.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">He was surprisingly taller and cuter than I thought he
would be. I already knew from our telephone conversation that he didn’t have a
deep voice so that wasn’t a shock. Even though he had jeans on he was dressed
better than Ray and John. I can’t remember what type of foot wear he had on but
it wasn’t trainers. I would definitely remember if it was. The shirt he had on
was good enough for a date.</span></div>
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-AprqS2yiXmA/Ty7EDs-TviI/AAAAAAAAADc/ZB4NKcFPOJY/s1600/005.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-AprqS2yiXmA/Ty7EDs-TviI/AAAAAAAAADc/ZB4NKcFPOJY/s320/005.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Me pretending to play the piano at Browns</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">We got on with each other right away; it felt as though
we had known each other for some time. Ricardo had a - what you see is what you
get - vibe about him; which I liked. He really came across as genuine and he
was really lovely in so many ways. We spoke about a lot of things; we didn’t
have any silent moment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We discovered
that we knew a lot of the same people and have also both failed our driving
test several times so far. I really enjoyed his company and I could tell that
he enjoyed mine too. He even gave me a hand massage, which was out of this
world. Ricardo has skills when it comes to hand massage. I was so amazed by his
techniques and the fact that he wasn’t shy to give me a hand massage. Some guys
shy away from such things because they think it will reduce their masculinity. Male
readers -the massage alone gave him extra points in my book. If you give a
massage as good as Ricardo and a girl chooses not to like you for that reason
alone there’s something terribly wrong with the girl and you should run a mile
from her.</span></div>
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-RWTJlQ-d7G8/Ty7EOi0GdxI/AAAAAAAAADk/0Qd_dpVTcnM/s1600/006.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-RWTJlQ-d7G8/Ty7EOi0GdxI/AAAAAAAAADk/0Qd_dpVTcnM/s320/006.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Me pretending to sing whilst pretending to play the piano</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I really had a nice time with Ricardo and I would gladly
say yes to hanging out with him. I just can’t see myself in a relationship with
him because he is not quite where I would like my potential partner to be. He
is still very happy living at home with mummy and daddy and I just don’t think
he has developed some of the qualities that I’d like in my man. I would love to
be friends with him if he is happy to be my friend and I can honestly say date
3 was definitely the best date so far.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Like always readers if there’s anything that you think
I’ve left out or that you are wondering please leave me a comment below and I
will reply as soon as I can.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Thanks for reading <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">My
dating year</i> – Date 3</span></div>Jayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14772972835576957742noreply@blogger.com9