First of all before I begin the topic for this post I just
want to shout HOORAY, I finally passed my driving test. It took a lot of attempts
and changes in my life, as well as, emotional pain to get there but I did it. I
now own a full UK manual driving license. Well done me for not giving up.
I initially wanted to write about something else for this
post but changed my mind because I’d like to stay on the topic of perseverance
and not losing hope. Those of you who read my blog religiously will know that I
wanted to give up on this challenge at one point too. I’m glad I didn’t. I
still don’t have a boyfriend and don’t date as regularly as I did when I first
started the challenge but that’s not because I am disheartened by the fact that
I’m still single. It’s simply because I want to get into a relationship and sometimes
we have to stop and stand still in order to move forward.
When it comes to the search of a lifelong partner I have to
really commend some people for not giving up. I’d really like to think that
there’s someone out there for everybody. Just because family and friends give
up hope in you it doesn’t mean you should stop looking and hoping to find your
soul mate. Paul McCartney is old and has been through a lot of marriages but he
hasn’t given up on love. I respect him so much for that. Yes he made some wrong
decisions in his choice of partners in the past and may well have made the
wrong decision again with his current wife but who doesn’t make mistakes. If we
all decide not to give things a chance because of the fear of possibly making
the wrong decision what kind of lives would we be living. Those who give into
the fear of possibly having another failed relationship and don’t get into committed
relationships as a result are committed to having failed relationships and are
not good learners.
When we fail there’s always something to learn from the
failure and improve on. In the process of trying to get my licence I learnt
that my eyesight wasn’t as good as I thought and the world is a lot clearer
than I previously thought. In order to ease the emotional pain I was going
through I decided to take up jogging again and I now have better stamina and
jog a much longer distance that I was capable of in the past. I also learnt to
push through the negative thoughts, disappointment and shame that come with
failing so many times. I knew I’d eventually get my license but the amount of
times I failed did make me question whether I was capable of passing the test.
The point I’m trying to make here is that finding a life partner is not an easy
thing but we shouldn’t give up. In the process of looking, spend time on
improving yourself, so when it finally does happen you’ll be an asset to your
partner. You’ll make him/her realise something about the world or relationships
that they didn’t know.
I was on the tube a couple of days ago and I noticed an advert
for women who are in their forties and wanting to be mums. I thought how nice.
The world has changed and a lot of women are having children later in life now.
Just because a lady has passed 35 it doesn’t mean she should give up on childbearing. Yes pregnancy may be more difficult after a certain age but it
shouldn’t mean that women should give up hope of becoming mums after 35. Mount Kilimanjaro
is a very difficult mountain to climb but that doesn’t stop people from
climbing it. It’s all in the mind. If you believe you can, you will. It doesn’t
matter how long or how many attempts, it’s whether you do it or not that
matters. So if it means having to kiss a lot of frogs to find your Prince Charming
so be it, all of that wouldn’t matter in the end. You may have kissed so many frogs
in order to learn some things about yourself that will make your relationship
with your Prince Charming a success.
When I was at Uni I had a boyfriend in the first two years
of my studies. In that relationship I learnt that I had some bad habits that
can be damaging to a relationship. To be honest I didn’t consider the habits as
bad until it was brought to my attention. Now I can’t imagine repeating some of
the things I did with someone that I’m in a relationship with. I guess to an
extent we should see the process of kissing so many frogs as a polishing
process. It allows you to figure out bad habits and traits to eliminate before
Prince Charming arrives. Now don’t you want to be near perfect when he arrives?
Having said all of that kissing a lot of frogs can be very
damaging to some people because they choose to focus on the negative things
that happen in the process. Like all things in life we can allow bad
experiences to break us or make us. It’s all in our hands or our heads should I
say.
I hope I didn’t waffle on too much and you got the point I
was trying to make. I just want to add one more thing: PERSIST UNTIL YOU SUCCED.
Thanks for reading My
dating year – stage 23.
