Date 13 - ?

Welcome to date 13 of 26

Guy Profile

Name: ?

Age: 28

Height: 6.2

Occupation: Carer  

How I met ?

I met ? on Plenty of fish.com (pof). He sent me a lazy message which I believed and he confirmed he sent to a number of girls in hope of receiving messages back from some. I don’t usually respond to people who can’t even be bothered to make some effort with the message that they send and I didn’t want to respond but I had a look at his profile and I liked what I saw. I was also curious to learn more about him because he sounded as though he was new in town, so I sent him a message asking him how long he’s been in London and as I thought he has only been here for 6 months.

In the third message that he sent me he included his contact details. I went for the option of adding him to my blackberry messenger (bbm) contact rather than whats App, so he won’t have my number until I was ready to give it to him. We communicated quite a lot over the first few days and I was really looking forward to meeting him. As this week was very busy for me at work we agreed to meet at the end of the week. The plan was to meet at Starbucks because he said he didn’t have much money at the moment because he’s trying to find his own place so he can move out of his cousin’s. Honestly I didn’t mind going to Starbucks because I felt as though I was starting to like him because he just seemed like such a nice match for me on paper so I was very understanding of his situation; as I am when I like a guy. I’m not so tolerant and understanding with guys that I don’t like.

A few days before we met, it started getting hard to get through to him. It didn’t take more than a day for him to respond to my messages but the conversation wasn’t flowing fluently anymore and even to set the time and actual location to meet felt like a chore rather than something exciting that both party wanted to participate in. When I messaged him last to finalise what we were doing, I felt like I was in that mood that some people get in when they have to do something with someone that’s pissing them off. The tone of my message, I felt was almost as though I was saying: here’s the details, it’s up to you when you read it just stop wasting my time, kmt.

The date

As you’ve probably already gathered there was no date. Mr ? messaged me a few hours before the assigned time of the date to say he had made other plans for that same time and I shouldn’t be angry with him and we should reschedule. I called him. His phone went to voicemail and I left a message and I haven’t received a reply. I pinged him. He saw my ping and changed his display picture on bbm and didn’t respond. I sent a final message saying ‘I take it you don’t want to meet anymore’. As far as I’m concerned I’ve done the best I can. I hate when people make me feel as though I’m bothering them. If not for my blog I wouldn’t have been as bothered to get in touch with him. I’m so pissed that he left it to the last minute. That doesn’t give me enough time to find a replacement date. What a time waster, KMTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As I don’t really know this guy, I can’t really give him a piece of my mind and he also doesn’t know about my blog so he wouldn’t understand my aggressive reaction to him cancelling the date. Rationally, sometimes things happen and people have to cancel plans that they’ve made or in this dating situation he probably just didn’t like me; which is one of the expected possibilities. The irrational side of me that cares very much about my blog is not so understanding right now and it wishes I could give this guy a piece of my mind without sounding crazy. Unreliable people really piss me off. I’ve vented enough now and I’m going to continue my dating journey and not let this situation affect the dates to come.

That’s it for date 13.

Thanks for reading My dating year – date 13

  

Date 12 – John

Welcome to date 12 of 26

Guy Profile

Name: John

Age: 28

Height:  5.8½

Occupation: Store Operations

Location of date: Stratford, London

How I met John

My regular readers will know that I have been on a date with John in the past. New readers please refer to Date 2 to find out how I met John and how our first date went.

If you’ve read date 2 you may find it surprising to read of a second date with John. I am too. I had no intention of seeing him again. As for my blog, I wanted to keep second dates to an absolute minimum. My plan was to go a second date with Curtis to honour the vote that some of you made. I had even spoken to Curtis about meeting up with him this week. We just hadn’t set a date.

After date 2

Since the last date with John, we haven’t really kept in touch much. He tried to keep the communication going after the first date but I wasn’t responsive. He took the hint and stopped contacting me soon after. From time to time he would send me a message to check up on me but the messages have always been brief as I never encouraged him to take it further.

Initiation of the date

During the Queen’s Jubilee John sent me a message on blackberry messenger (bbm). He mentioned that he was bored and hated staying in. I suggested that he should go out with some friends and he said he didn’t want to go raving (clubbing – for those of you who aren’t familiar with the term raving), so I told him to go bowling. ‘Yeah, I should, that sounds like a great idea’ was the reply I was waiting to read or ‘I’m not sure, I don’t really like bowling’. Instead, he said: ‘ha ha ok let’s go bowling’. I looked at the message and I thought to myself: ‘don’t be hasty, think about this; what will I gain from saying no and what will I lose from saying yes’. He hadn’t asked me to marry him, he just asked me to go bowling with him. So my reply was ‘when?’

I thought I would regret my decision after but I didn’t. As ruthless as I think I come across through these blogs, I can’t help but like some of these guys as people. I wish it was easy to say I’m not really interested in you romantically but I would like to pursue a friendship with you. It would be great if the ones with kind hearts could consider me as a friend and genuinely treat me as one, without ever wanting anything more. I think the reason why I didn’t regret my decision was because I viewed John as an individual with good qualities and a potentially nice person to be around, as opposed to a guy who is taking me out because he wants to try and get into a relationship with me and will therefore display a persona that he thinks I’ll like, but very different from who he really is.

The date

I got to Stratford 5 minutes early and had to shop around whilst I waited for John. 15 minutes later the guy I didn’t think I’d see again walked towards me and gave me a hug, before introducing a couple to me as his friends. I was really happy to see the couple. I thought: ‘great more people to bowl’ because I think it’s quite weird for just 2 people to bowl. Unluckily for me they had their own plans; which was not bowling.

When we got to the place to bowl, we were told that there was a 45 minutes wait, so we went to the bar inside and waited. John asked me what I’d like to drink and I said strawberry daiquiri and chips on the side please. I was so hungry, I ate the chips and finished the drink before he could turn around and say: ‘how you doing?’ Being a gentleman, he asked me if I would like seconds and I said yes, but I was much slower this time round and he had to wait for me for about 5 minutes before we could go ahead and bowl.

At the beginning of the game John was quite bad at bowling and I was doing pretty good. By the third go, he had gotten the hang of it and he just kept on getting strike after strike. He was a good winner though, I must say. He didn’t show off at all, instead he tried to teach me to bowl in the same way as him, so I could get strikes too but the method just didn’t work for me. As it was just 2 of us playing, the game finished quickly and we left there to go to Nando’s because I didn’t like where he initially wanted us to eat. It was a dead pub that smelt stale.

I had a free full chicken token from my loyalty card that we could use providing we spent a certain amount, so I was excited to eat at Nando’s. Unlike my first date with John, the conversation flowed well. We were more interested in what each other had to say and I smiled and laughed more. After eating what I was able to fit in my stomach, I asked for a doggy bag to store the leftovers and we left. I persuaded John to let me drive his car. He went somewhere quiet and gave me the keys.  It meant a lot that he trusted me enough to do so, knowing full well that I didn’t have a license. He was so calm when I made silly mistakes like comfortably driving on the wrong side of the road and getting too close to another driver, who as John said wasn’t very happy with my invasion of his car space.

After date thoughts

This date really surprised me. I didn’t think I could have fun with John and I did. The biggest thing that I would say I got from it is not to quickly disregard anyone before really getting to know him/her. Just because a person doesn’t tick your box at first, it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t give them a chance, as things may change and your feeling for them could too. Having said that, I don’t think I could take this advice. There are qualities that I’d like in the guy for me and if I compromise on too many of the qualities I feel as though I am not being true to myself and therefore disregarding myself.

Am I being unrealistic or just plain hard headed?

Readers please let me know what you think.

Thanks for reading My dating year – date 12.