Change of direction!

My dating year

Change of direction!

If you read my last blog you may be curious to find out what the new era that I mentioned is all about. If you didn’t keep reading you may take away something that you didn’t expect to find and besides you are already on my page so you might as well continue reading.

The big reason for the change as I mentioned is that I’m tired of just dating to blog and I want to meet someone. I want a relationship. I want to build a future with someone. I want to be someone’s reason for getting up when most things seem bleak. I want someone who will make me want to rush home after work to cook him something nice and present the food in the most immaculate way I can think of. He probably won’t care how presentable the food looks but I want to go out of my way because the guy motivates me to be my best and in being my best I have to give him the best I can.

I certainly hope that some of my readers got something out of my blogs and what I now call the old era; whether it’s educational or entertaining. It definitely made my day to hear 2 separate guys who don’t know each other say they are learning from my blogs. I can tick one of my core reasons for starting My dating year. Thanks guys for voicing the appreciation. You know who you are.

Aside from wanting to meet someone, I got to a point of frustration with this challenge and blogging. I didn’t feel I was really giving my readers as much as I promised I was going to give in terms of opening up about how I feel about each situation. There’s only so much you can learn about a person from a first date. As that’s all I was going on and the occasional second dates I didn’t really feel I was experiencing enough to help others who aren’t as experienced when it comes to dating. I was finding out important things about most of the guys after the dates but I didn’t report these details because I didn’t initially want to focus on the aftermaths of my dates. I don’t think it’s right that I have kept you readers out of the loop as some of you might have gained more from the after events than the actual dates. The format of my blog didn’t allow me to provide continuous updates, sorry.

I felt like my blog was losing purpose. I had gone on enough first dates for anyone who is completely new to dating to learn from, especially guys. I communicated my frustration to a few friends and stumbled upon a very useful blog site called: Hooking Up Smart  out of boredom and decided to change the direction of my challenge after being inspired by some of the blogs I read on the site. I am redefining what My dating year means and making it more purposeful and even if you, readers of my blog site, don’t gain from the change I will at least walk away with a degree in “datingology”. It may not be a certified degree but I will certainly have the knowledge to hold on to.

In this process of change I have started evaluating myself and thankfully I have some people around me who aren’t afraid to tell me the truth about some of my not so attractive qualities, which can turn some guys off. I will use the next couple of blogs to explore some of these qualities that I’m working on changing and I will also examine some of the characteristics that men don’t like about women and vice versa. I have bought some books and already done one poll and watched some videos on dating and relationships in order to learn more and bag myself the kind of man who is really for me, based on who I am and what I want out of life.

From now on I will blog about the process of finding someone special. I will still go on dates and talk about the dates but not so much in isolation. I will compare some of the guys and only go on dates with guys that I can see myself with and not just say yes or initiate dates with guys who I have no interest in as I did in the previous era. There may be weeks where I won’t go on dates but I will still put myself out there and write about how the search is coming along and the new theories and ideas that I have decided to subscribe to and how I’m finding them. If I’m lucky enough to find a guy who I’m really interested in and vice versa and decide to see him only I will continue to blog about the relationship until the end of 2012. Realistically speaking I don’t think I’ll be finding a guy to settle down with any time soon because I don’t think I have fully transitioned from the shopping to the investment mentality when it comes to dating as Paul Carrick Brunson, a relationship matchmaker puts it. I will exemplify this theory in my next entry.

The plan is to keep the same format as the last era, so I will continue to post new entries every two weeks but my next entry will be next week as it’s the second week after date 15. Instead of titling the blogs as “date...” they will now begin as “stage...(following from the last number I had” so the next entry will be titled: “stage 16” as I believe I’m on a journey. My idea of dating is about to change.  

I carried out a poll called: ‘How I met my partner’; which 57 people filled in, 57.4% of whom were in a relationship and the other 42.6% were single. I found out that when it comes to meeting someone to have a committed relationship with most people in a relationship tend to meet their partners at family/friends parties/gathering. Even the single people who actively go out to find a partner voted family/friends parties/gathering joint first with church as the place where they go to to find a potential partner. Interestingly online dating site and school/college/university were voted joint second place as the location where those in relationships found their partners and professional events was voted second by the singletons.

I did this survey so I can increase my chances of finding a partner by simply going to the same places where those in relationships said they attended to find their partners. As they say, there’s no point in reinventing the wheel. I may not meet the guy I’ll settle down with in the top voted places but I am willing to give it a try by attending more family and friends events. I’m not happy that online dating was voted quite highly because I’ve already done that and got the t-shirt and it’s not my preferred method but I’ll give it another try. I gained some insightful information which I will refer to over the course of this journey.

I want to apologise for not going on a second date with Curtis before changing direction. I have not ruled out a second date with him but because it’s been so long since our last date I don’t think either of us feel anything for each other so if I go on a second date with him it will be more to honour the vote that some of you made.

I hope you all follow me in this new journey and I hope it’s more useful than the previous era. Please leave me a comment below to let me know of your thoughts on my change of direction.

Thanks for reading My dating year – Change of direction!

Date 15 – Isaiah

Welcome to date 15 of 26

Guy Profile

Name: Isaiah
Age: 23
Height: 6.0
Occupation: Regional Trainer

How I met Isaiah

I met Isaiah through the same friend who introduced me to X (new readers please refer to date 4 to read about my encounter with X). When my friend first told me that he had another friend who was interested in going on a date with me, I think I said: ‘I’m not really interested in your loserish friends, kmt’.

His response: ‘this friend is of a different level to you’.

My response: ‘what do you mean, a higher level or a lower level?’

His response: ‘A higher level of course.’

I was so offended. If I was a cartoon character you would see steams coming out of my ears. I tried to let the comment slide and not be affected by it and luckily for him the comment didn’t affect our friendship.

Weeks later I was in need of a date and I spoke to this same friend about my need. Whilst speaking, he called the friend of his that he claims to be on a different level to me but unluckily for me he was out of town. At this point I wasn’t really fazed by my friend’s comment, I just needed a date and I was more than happy to go on a date with the friend had he not been out of town. A week or more later I met Isaiah and my friend asked me what I thought of him. I responded with: ‘he’s alright’. What I really meant was: ‘I think I like what I see and yeah I would like to go on a date with him’. I didn’t want my friend to know that I felt that way because how dare he tell me that his friend is of a higher level than me, smh (shaking my head - to those of you who aren’t familiar with the abbreviation), kmt.

Another couple of weeks went by and I saw Isaiah again. This time I didn’t really pay much attention to him and I felt myself coming across as unfriendly because of that. For some reason the picture of me being unfriendly kept playing over in my head, so I asked my friend to apologise to him on my behalf for not being friendly. The feedback was: he wasn’t offended and he said it’s cool. The following day my friend sent me Isaiah’s number so I could arrange a date with him. I whatsApped him that very day but we didn’t arrange the date until about a week later.

The date

At 21:00 on a Saturday Isaiah whatsApped me to let me know that he was outside my house. I was impressed because I told him to pick me up at 21:00 and not to be late. I on the other hand wasn’t ready so I asked him to give me 10 minutes. About 15 minutes later we got in his car and he drove to the West End so we could find a restaurant to eat in. I insisted that we should go to Vapiano because the food is nice there. I wasn’t quite sure how to get there because I had only been there once before and my sense of direction is not usually very good. Although he was hesitant about us going to a place that neither of us knew how to get to I was able to convince him to trust my instinct and we got there without taking a wrong turn. Tap on my shoulder!

I recommended Carbonara to Isaiah and was going to get the same thing as I had that the last time I was at Vapiano but he said I shouldn’t, I should try something else so I got Scampi instead. Whilst eating and laughing etc I found myself mimicking his body language. I immediately tried to get myself out of the trance I was in because I personally think that is just too much of an indication that I like him. Don’t get me wrong – I want him to know that I like him but mimicking him shows that I really really like him. I don’t think he caught on though. At least I hope he didn’t.

After our meal we went to Tower Bridge because I mentioned that we should head that direction for a really nice bar called Abbey. Like Vapiano, I know where Abbey is, I have the image in my head but I don’t know how to get there. I forgot to tell Isaiah this before we got to Tower Bridge, so he just ended up parking on a side road so we could go to a place that we saw whilst coming off the bridge. When we got there the set-up by the entrance was the same as a club and we were told it’s £10 to get in. I was a bit confused so I asked one of the guys at the door if it was a bar or a club and he said it’s a club. I was ready to walk back out, but because Isaiah didn’t want to go back in the rain he said we should just go in so I paid for both of us.

When we got upstairs it was clearly a club but not just any club, it was one for middle age people. They were very welcoming and very willing to mingle but the music weren’t to our taste and it was far from what we had in mind. Isaiah bought us drinks so we could drink and talk but the music was just too loud for us to have a conversation. To make things more interesting Isaiah suggested that we should go to the bar and order drinks that we didn’t recognise. We ordered a drink that we weren’t sure whether to drink as a shot or a regular drink. Then Isaiah asked the bar man to be creative and make us something of his choice. He did but Isaiah didn’t like it. I thought it was ok. We went back down to where we previously sat and the alcohol started kicking in for me and I started behaving like someone who had had one too many. I tried to convince Isaiah to get up and dance with me but instead he said I sounded drunk and he was going to take me home. He got up to use the loo before we left. By the time he got back I was dancing with a lady who asked me to dance with her. He must have thought this girl is a nutter. As soon as I saw him I said goodbye to my dancing partner and he dropped me home. I got home at 2am.

I think the date was fun and even though it rained a lot I wouldn’t change anything about it.

That’s it for date 15 and an end to this era of just going on dates just so I can blog about them. I want someone special in my life now so make sure you check out my blog next weekend to find out what the new era is all about.

I want to thank all my loyal readers for your continuous interest in my challenge and thank you to everyone who’ve read my blog. I’m very happy with the 4,228 pageviews that I’ve had to date.

Thanks for reading My dating year – date 15.

Date 14 – Lazaro

Welcome to date 14 of 26

Guy Profile

Name: Lazaro

Age: 29
Height: 5.11
Occupation: Online Service team leader

How I met Lazaro

I met Lazaro on Plenty of fish.com (pof). He sent me what I thought was a sweet and sincere message. I had to reply. His response again was sincere, proving his first initial message wasn’t just a bait. We sent each other messages over a few weeks on the site before Lazaro sent me his number and asked me to drop him a line when I have the time. I sent him a text some days after and we texted each other every so often until we decided to meet up. As we work quite close to each other and in central London he suggested we should meet at Covent Garden station at 6.10pm on a Friday evening for coffee.

The date

I got to Covent Garden station quite early because I wanted to buy something from Marks & Spencer (M&S). I didn’t realise M&S was so close to the station so I was done within 5 minutes and had to wait in front of the station for about 25 minutes. At 6pm I received a message from Lazaro saying: ‘I actually made it a bit early and I’m here’. I looked around and I couldn’t see him so I sent him a message asking where and he responded with: ‘In front of you... on the other side of the road’. For some reason I felt like I was in a scary movie and someone was after me so I was a little scared. I nervously looked ahead of me and I found him and walked over to greet him.

The first thing he said to me was: ‘you don’t have three hands, why are you on pof? I have my own reason for being on there but you look perfectly normal.’ Although he was trying to be nice, that comment made me slightly worried. A part of me was dreading what he was going to say his reason was for joining pof because if the reason was really off putting I wouldn’t feel comfortable to continue and I would have to think of a very good reason to end the date. When we found a restaurant to eat in, he told me that he is on the site because he is a shy person. That was surprising to hear because he didn’t come across that way to me prior to the date and on the date, so a part of me did wonder if that was the real reason why he joined the site.

Whilst we were in the restaurant, Lazaro told me some really interesting things about himself and he seemed really smart and full of life. After our meal, we walked to Southbank but we didn’t stay for long because I wanted to end the date for no particular reason. I think he picked up on it too because he politely walked me to the bus stop.

He seemed like a really nice guy and I love the way he sees certain things. As he is also a photographer, who loves taking pictures and attending exhibitions his way of viewing everyday things and people is so different and refreshing. I wish a lot more people could see the world the way he does. He makes what most people would consider as insignificant or uncomfortable appear significant and comfortable.

He also had a slightly vulnerable but cute side to him which alone makes me feel I should treat him with utmost respect and courtesy. He said things like I tried not to send you too many messages because I didn’t want you to feel pestered. Interestingly prior to our date, some days beforehand he had sent me a message asking me how my day was and if I had done anything exciting. I mentioned that I had gone to church and bought some items for my car and I didn’t hear back from him for some days, so I jumped to the conclusion that he didn’t respond because I mentioned that I’m a Christian. I was disappointed that he would discriminate against me for that reason and I spoke to some friends about it and one of them suggested that I should text him. I quickly responded with: ‘no way, if he is going to stop talking to me because of my faith then he is not worth my time’. The curious side of me wanted to know if he did stop talking to me for that reason so I sent him a text, asking how his week had gone and to my surprise he responded and asked if I had any plans for the weekend and that’s when we made plans to meet up.

This experience has taught me that it’s not good to jump into conclusions and act stubborn when dating because such attitudes can cause you to ruin the chance of meeting amazing people. Had I not text Lazaro I may not have met up with him and even if he had tried to get in touch, I probably would have read his messages the wrong way and found unintended meanings in them because I believed at the time that he had a problem with my faith.

To conclude, I’m happy that I met up with Lazaro but I don’t fancy him so there wouldn’t be a second date. I would love to be his friend if he is happy to be friends with me because I love his outlook on the world and his intelligence.

That’s it for date 14.

Thanks for reading My dating year – date 14.

Date 13 - ?

Welcome to date 13 of 26

Guy Profile

Name: ?

Age: 28

Height: 6.2

Occupation: Carer  

How I met ?

I met ? on Plenty of fish.com (pof). He sent me a lazy message which I believed and he confirmed he sent to a number of girls in hope of receiving messages back from some. I don’t usually respond to people who can’t even be bothered to make some effort with the message that they send and I didn’t want to respond but I had a look at his profile and I liked what I saw. I was also curious to learn more about him because he sounded as though he was new in town, so I sent him a message asking him how long he’s been in London and as I thought he has only been here for 6 months.

In the third message that he sent me he included his contact details. I went for the option of adding him to my blackberry messenger (bbm) contact rather than whats App, so he won’t have my number until I was ready to give it to him. We communicated quite a lot over the first few days and I was really looking forward to meeting him. As this week was very busy for me at work we agreed to meet at the end of the week. The plan was to meet at Starbucks because he said he didn’t have much money at the moment because he’s trying to find his own place so he can move out of his cousin’s. Honestly I didn’t mind going to Starbucks because I felt as though I was starting to like him because he just seemed like such a nice match for me on paper so I was very understanding of his situation; as I am when I like a guy. I’m not so tolerant and understanding with guys that I don’t like.

A few days before we met, it started getting hard to get through to him. It didn’t take more than a day for him to respond to my messages but the conversation wasn’t flowing fluently anymore and even to set the time and actual location to meet felt like a chore rather than something exciting that both party wanted to participate in. When I messaged him last to finalise what we were doing, I felt like I was in that mood that some people get in when they have to do something with someone that’s pissing them off. The tone of my message, I felt was almost as though I was saying: here’s the details, it’s up to you when you read it just stop wasting my time, kmt.

The date

As you’ve probably already gathered there was no date. Mr ? messaged me a few hours before the assigned time of the date to say he had made other plans for that same time and I shouldn’t be angry with him and we should reschedule. I called him. His phone went to voicemail and I left a message and I haven’t received a reply. I pinged him. He saw my ping and changed his display picture on bbm and didn’t respond. I sent a final message saying ‘I take it you don’t want to meet anymore’. As far as I’m concerned I’ve done the best I can. I hate when people make me feel as though I’m bothering them. If not for my blog I wouldn’t have been as bothered to get in touch with him. I’m so pissed that he left it to the last minute. That doesn’t give me enough time to find a replacement date. What a time waster, KMTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As I don’t really know this guy, I can’t really give him a piece of my mind and he also doesn’t know about my blog so he wouldn’t understand my aggressive reaction to him cancelling the date. Rationally, sometimes things happen and people have to cancel plans that they’ve made or in this dating situation he probably just didn’t like me; which is one of the expected possibilities. The irrational side of me that cares very much about my blog is not so understanding right now and it wishes I could give this guy a piece of my mind without sounding crazy. Unreliable people really piss me off. I’ve vented enough now and I’m going to continue my dating journey and not let this situation affect the dates to come.

That’s it for date 13.

Thanks for reading My dating year – date 13

  

Date 12 – John

Welcome to date 12 of 26

Guy Profile

Name: John

Age: 28

Height:  5.8½

Occupation: Store Operations

Location of date: Stratford, London

How I met John

My regular readers will know that I have been on a date with John in the past. New readers please refer to Date 2 to find out how I met John and how our first date went.

If you’ve read date 2 you may find it surprising to read of a second date with John. I am too. I had no intention of seeing him again. As for my blog, I wanted to keep second dates to an absolute minimum. My plan was to go a second date with Curtis to honour the vote that some of you made. I had even spoken to Curtis about meeting up with him this week. We just hadn’t set a date.

After date 2

Since the last date with John, we haven’t really kept in touch much. He tried to keep the communication going after the first date but I wasn’t responsive. He took the hint and stopped contacting me soon after. From time to time he would send me a message to check up on me but the messages have always been brief as I never encouraged him to take it further.

Initiation of the date

During the Queen’s Jubilee John sent me a message on blackberry messenger (bbm). He mentioned that he was bored and hated staying in. I suggested that he should go out with some friends and he said he didn’t want to go raving (clubbing – for those of you who aren’t familiar with the term raving), so I told him to go bowling. ‘Yeah, I should, that sounds like a great idea’ was the reply I was waiting to read or ‘I’m not sure, I don’t really like bowling’. Instead, he said: ‘ha ha ok let’s go bowling’. I looked at the message and I thought to myself: ‘don’t be hasty, think about this; what will I gain from saying no and what will I lose from saying yes’. He hadn’t asked me to marry him, he just asked me to go bowling with him. So my reply was ‘when?’

I thought I would regret my decision after but I didn’t. As ruthless as I think I come across through these blogs, I can’t help but like some of these guys as people. I wish it was easy to say I’m not really interested in you romantically but I would like to pursue a friendship with you. It would be great if the ones with kind hearts could consider me as a friend and genuinely treat me as one, without ever wanting anything more. I think the reason why I didn’t regret my decision was because I viewed John as an individual with good qualities and a potentially nice person to be around, as opposed to a guy who is taking me out because he wants to try and get into a relationship with me and will therefore display a persona that he thinks I’ll like, but very different from who he really is.

The date

I got to Stratford 5 minutes early and had to shop around whilst I waited for John. 15 minutes later the guy I didn’t think I’d see again walked towards me and gave me a hug, before introducing a couple to me as his friends. I was really happy to see the couple. I thought: ‘great more people to bowl’ because I think it’s quite weird for just 2 people to bowl. Unluckily for me they had their own plans; which was not bowling.

When we got to the place to bowl, we were told that there was a 45 minutes wait, so we went to the bar inside and waited. John asked me what I’d like to drink and I said strawberry daiquiri and chips on the side please. I was so hungry, I ate the chips and finished the drink before he could turn around and say: ‘how you doing?’ Being a gentleman, he asked me if I would like seconds and I said yes, but I was much slower this time round and he had to wait for me for about 5 minutes before we could go ahead and bowl.

At the beginning of the game John was quite bad at bowling and I was doing pretty good. By the third go, he had gotten the hang of it and he just kept on getting strike after strike. He was a good winner though, I must say. He didn’t show off at all, instead he tried to teach me to bowl in the same way as him, so I could get strikes too but the method just didn’t work for me. As it was just 2 of us playing, the game finished quickly and we left there to go to Nando’s because I didn’t like where he initially wanted us to eat. It was a dead pub that smelt stale.

I had a free full chicken token from my loyalty card that we could use providing we spent a certain amount, so I was excited to eat at Nando’s. Unlike my first date with John, the conversation flowed well. We were more interested in what each other had to say and I smiled and laughed more. After eating what I was able to fit in my stomach, I asked for a doggy bag to store the leftovers and we left. I persuaded John to let me drive his car. He went somewhere quiet and gave me the keys.  It meant a lot that he trusted me enough to do so, knowing full well that I didn’t have a license. He was so calm when I made silly mistakes like comfortably driving on the wrong side of the road and getting too close to another driver, who as John said wasn’t very happy with my invasion of his car space.

After date thoughts

This date really surprised me. I didn’t think I could have fun with John and I did. The biggest thing that I would say I got from it is not to quickly disregard anyone before really getting to know him/her. Just because a person doesn’t tick your box at first, it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t give them a chance, as things may change and your feeling for them could too. Having said that, I don’t think I could take this advice. There are qualities that I’d like in the guy for me and if I compromise on too many of the qualities I feel as though I am not being true to myself and therefore disregarding myself.

Am I being unrealistic or just plain hard headed?

Readers please let me know what you think.

Thanks for reading My dating year – date 12.

Date 11 – Ricky

Welcome to date 11 of 26

Guy Profile

Name: Ricky
Age: 27
Height: 5.11
Occupation: Something to do with helping young people into employment
Location of date: Surrey Quays, London

How I met Ricky

I met Ricky on Plenty of Fish.com (pof). I was looking for a last minute date for this week’s date because I didn’t have enough time to arrange one after returning from the States. I didn’t want to have to go on pof because I don’t really like the site but the 2 people I had in mind for this week’s date weren’t available and my friend’s attempt to get one of his friends to take me out didn’t look like it was going to materialise either.

On Thursday evening I reactivated my pof account and received quite a lot of messages from hopefuls and I started a few conversations with some but after an hour of being on the site it didn’t look like I was getting anywhere so I logged out. Minutes later I received a couple of messages and I logged back on to read them. Two of the guys that sent me messages seemed quite decent so I spent some time communicating with both of them and another guy who was telling me off for what I wrote on my profile. He said I was contradicting myself because my Intent says: I want to date but nothing serious and About me says:

I understand that most people on this site are not looking for anything serious so if you are only looking to get intimate please move on to the next profile.

I totally understand why he thinks my intent and About me is contradicting but I also mean exactly what I wrote. I am only interested in dating and nothing serious and I want those who are looking for something intimate to move on to the next profile. I am not going to give myself away because I’m not looking for something serious. It’s clear that not looking for something serious means different things to different people. As this date is not about him I’m not going to go into details about the unfriendly things that he wrote to me. Readers please leave me a comment below if you are interested in the things he said because I think they’ll make an interesting debate.

Back to Ricky, because I needed a date for Friday or Saturday I really didn’t waste any time, so when Ricky wrote: ‘whats a pretty fish like you doing in a sea like this?’ in the second message that he sent me. I replied with: ‘I'm looking for a date for the weekend’ and his reply was: ‘Oh ok well im free tomo nite do you have a blackberry?’.  I gave him my blackberry pin and we communicated a little on that before he called me and we had a very nice conversation. He had a lovely deep voice and a nice sense of humour. I was very proud of myself for being able to get a date so quick. I’m liking the new attitude.

The Date

We had planned to meet at London Bridge at 8pm but we didn’t plan what we were going to do. I guess it was only right to continue the excitement by not planning to do anything in particular. Before our date I spoke to Ricky and he asked if we can meet at 9pm instead because he left work late. I didn’t give the best response but I tried to work with him. Long story short I ended up meeting Ricky after 10pm at my local overhead train station and we took a bus to Surrey Quays.

When we go to Surrey Quays I was really in the mood for Pizza but unfortunately they were closing, so we went to the next best thing, Frankie and Benny’s. Before we got to Surrey Quays I knew Ricky wasn’t my type and I felt my energy drop when he came off the train because he wasn’t my type. As he had made an effort and showed faith in me by coming to meet me after just meeting me the day before online I didn’t want to disappoint him and waste the night being less than happy, so I consciously brought my energy back up.

As he knew of my regular dating but not about my blog I didn’t feel the pressure of having to communicate with him after the date as I’ve felt with most of my past date. It made me feel more at ease and it felt real because I didn’t have to avoid saying anything and I could really relax and enjoy the moment. He made me show him my ID just so he could make sure I am the age I said I am. I tried not to get offended by it and found it funny at the same time. He told me he had a dog and showed me some pictures. When I told him I dislike dogs, he mentioned he shouldn’t have revealed that to me yet. He spent most of the date trying to convince me that I’ll like his dog and I spent just as much time telling him that I wouldn’t and I wouldn’t even want to bump into him and his dog, not to talk about purposely going to see him and his dog.  

I think Ricky knew I wasn’t into him romantically and after I expressed my feelings about dogs I think any plans he had of us progressing in his mind went out of the window too. I hope we can be friends because I think we got on but there’s definitely no spark and I hope he finds a nice girl that’s into dogs.

That’s all for this week readers. Please leave your comments or questions below and I’ll post a reply as soon as I can.

Thanks for reading My dating year – date 11.

Date 10 – Dominic

Welcome to date 10 of 26

Guy Profile
Name: Dominic
Age: 26
Height: 5.11
Occupation: Customer Service
Location of date: Alexandra, Virginia, USA

How I met Dominic
I was first made aware of Dominic by my friend who I went to Virginia to visit. I told her I needed to go on dates whilst in the US and she told me of Dominic and gave me his Facebook name to check him out. I had a look and thought he looked ok. I noticed he had a lot of tattoos, which I’m not a big fan of but I still wanted to meet him.

On the very first day that I got to Virginia my friend made plans for one of her female friends, Dominic, herself and I to go to a bar/restaurant. We got there really early and had to wait for her friend and Dominic. Even though I wanted to meet Dominic I was so tired from being up for so many hours that all I cared about at that point was going home to sleep. Unluckily for me that wasn’t an option. My friend’s mentality is that you are not meant to sleep when on vacation. You are meant to have fun fun fun.

When Dominic arrived he looked how I thought he would and he seemed to be quite happy with how I look. He tried his best to make conversation with me even though I was so sleepy and gave me several compliments. As he was the last to get to the bar we waited for him to finish eating and drinking before we asked for the bill. My friend tried to get him to pay for everyone but he refused and they compromised on him paying the majority of the bill. He still weren’t happy and only agreed to do so if he could see me again. I told him we could go on a date and he paid. I could tell he didn’t mind paying for me but I don’t think he wanted to cover more than that.

The Date
Two days after I met Dominic my friend dropped me at a local cinema to see: Think like a man with Dominic because he had agreed to see it with me for the second time after telling me that I was basically a real life version of one of the characters. When I was at his house the previous day, he asked me why I was still single and I told him: ‘it’s because I’m really picky. I have a long list of likes and dislikes about guys’. After running through the list, he realised that he didn’t tick all of the boxes and told me I need to go to ToysRUs to find my guy because what I want is not real.

As we approached the cinema I opened the first door to walk in and was stopped in my tracks: ‘why can’t you let me be the man and open the doors’. I walked back and closed the door and allowed Dominic to reopen it. Nobody has ever told me off for doing so before. I usually don’t wait for guys to open doors for me. When they do I usually think it’s nice of them but when they don’t I don’t think any less of them. Once we got through the doors to approach the ticket queue he started moaning about having to pay my friend $30 for dropping me off and to pick me up after the movie. He was especially irritated because he knew she’ll charge him for every time that she drops me anywhere to see him. He was more than happy to cover her gas fee (as they call it in US) but he didn’t want to pay near as much as he would if I took a taxi and as they are friends he was expecting her to be more understanding and not make him feel worse for not being able to pick me up because of his ban that prevents him from driving his very nice car until October.

In the movie theatre I felt at ease with Dominic. He was such a gentleman about everything and he really tried his hardest to make me feel comfortable. When it was time to go home I experienced something that I hadn’t experienced before. I had difficulty going downstairs on the escalator. It looked narrow and very long. I felt like I would miss a step because of my heels and fall over and was too scared to get on it for that reason. I made several attempts after Dominic’s encouragement but I just couldn’t get myself to go down. In an attempt to get me to take the escalator Dominic took it down to show me it was safe and I’d be ok and ran up the escalator going up to meet me so he could go down with me but I still couldn’t do it and we had to take the elevator. It was so sweet of him to run up the escalator knowing how stupid he looked in the process.

When we got to his apartment I went up with him before going back to my friend’s because he had asked me to. I gave him a hug and the side of my face for a kiss. He asked to kiss me on the lips, I said no and smiled walking away saying goodbye. If he and my friend didn’t have work the next day I would have asked her to come up so we could stay at his for a while before heading home.

Since we met on the first day we’ve kept in touch everyday and seen each other quite a lot and have plans to see each other some more before I return home. Meeting Dominic has been one of the best things about my holiday. I feel like I’m having a holiday romance and I wouldn’t change anything about it so far. Not even his ban that prevents him from driving because I’m impressed by the effort that he has made to see me because of it and he’s also impressed that I want to spend time with him when I could spend time with other guys who are not as restricted as him.

That’s all for date 10 readers. Please leave your comments and questions below and I will respond as soon as possible even though I’m still on holiday.

Thanks for reading My dating Year – date 10.